I just started seeing a girl recently. We’ve been out a few times and it’s been very fun, but it’s unclear where we will end up (long-term, casual, etc.) We have not had sex yet. On Valentine’s day, should I bring her some sort of gift? I don’t want her to think I’m all into her or anything, but I wonder if something small is appropriate.
DCB says,
Hmmm this is a tough one. I’m assuming you two like each other and there is some sort of connection, but since sex hasn’t happened you definitely want to be extremely careful. You don’t want to reward her before sex has happened, because then she may hold out indefinitely.
Answer: Take her a single rose.
Kathryn says,
I think you should do something, but you don’t want to scare her off, either. So don’t show up for a hang-out date in a tie with a huge bunch of flowers. Instead, go small and charming, like a funny card with a brief, sweet (but not fawning) note. Also, give her a solo sunflower or dahlia or stem of anything BUT a freaking single red rose. Those always look like you got them in the checkout line at 7-11.
I can’t believe DCB can’t even be romantic on Valentine’s Day. (btdubs, “Happy Valentime’s Day. Every day the 14th!”)
If you liked this post then I think you will like my Roosh's Game Tips Email Newsletter For Guys. It's completely free and your first newsletter will be about how to meet girls in coffee shops. Following that will be newsletters on getting phone numbers, dealing with flakes, teasing girls the right way, handling cockblockers, meeting girls in foreign countries, and a whole lot more. Your email address will always remain private and you can unsubscribe at any time. To sign up put your first name and email address below and click the button.
Good call, Kathryn. Single roses are pretty lame and thoughtless. And since when do women have sex for any “rewards” other than increased intimacy and/or sexual gratification? DCB- as amusing as you can be sometimes, I feel so bad for you. You’re love-starved.
Comment by Anonymous on 02/14/06.
valentines day is for suckers. buy some stock in Hallmark and get her a card.
everyone wins!
Comment by anonymous on 02/14/06.
Hop online and look up origami flowers. Make your own. It shows you put forth more effort than just stopping at a store and signing your name but doesn’t imply you spent a lot of money to impress her.
Comment by Ibid on 02/14/06.
If you get her a flower that is not a rose, the girl will complain “I can’t believe he was too cheap to get me a rose!”
Comment by Chaco on 02/14/06.
Flowers are sweet, if she’s that kind of a girl (and there are many who would be a little weirded out with flowers after date three on V-day, I think). But maybe just a nice bottle of champagne/red wine and/or some dessert you can split would seem less “Friends call me Nova.”
Don’t get her anything. V-day gifts are for suckas and boyfriends. Make her buy you a drink.
Comment by Muffin on 02/14/06.
Depends on how much she likes you… and whether or not she over analyzes. If so, a good call is a yellow and red rose, which means friendship with the possibility of love… if nothing else, it will get you into her pants quicker. Or a box of chocolates. Agree with Chaco, don’t get creative on the flower choosing just yet… will make you look like you didn’t plan or are cheap.
Comment by Sam on 02/14/06.
Get her nothing.
Then she’ll think you’re an asshole. Then take her somewhere decent, nice. Then you become the asshole with a smidge of class. You might get the notch.
I mean, what else can I say? You don’t know if you’re into her or not, so the only reason why you’re taking her out for V-Day is that you’re hoping to get into her pants. I’m just prescibing the medicine for your problem.
Personally, if you don’t know if you want to be with her for awhile or just be casual, then you shouldn’t be taking her out.
Comment by Stephen on 02/14/06.
Don’t reward her for not having sex yet? Do you want to date a loose girl?
By putting in some effort I bet you would get some sex. Which chance do you want to take: pissed off because of no gift, therefore no sex, or small gift and resulting sex?
Comment by Jenna on 02/14/06.
Its contrarian advice, but its what he wants to have happen. He just wants sex.
Besides, I dont think you read what I said. Isn’t taking her out to a nice restaurant a gift?
Again, I don’t agree with him, and think he’s just out for sex and therefore shouldn’t be going out on a romantic holiday (because that indicates a willingness to be in a relationship).
Comment by Stephen on 02/14/06.
Three dates and no sex? If he were just in it for some tail he’d have moved on. Particularly tonight. The bars will be full of single, miserable girls drinking too much and willing to do something stupid just to have someone on Valentine’s Day.
