First Date DC

Depending on what you want from the person you’re dating, the first date is a job interview. DCB and others have made it clear that they’re looking for a notch on the bed and things like her real name are just annoying details.
For me a first date is where you determine if this woman you met via personal ad or while standing in line together is someone that you might want to hangout with and maybe someday go shopping for furniture with. Seduction comes after I know she’s not single handedly responsible for the spread of AIDS in the District or planning to sell my organs without cutting me in for a percentage.
A first date is where you get quizzed on your ability to pretend you’re interested while she prattles on about some shoes she saw and your ability to find topics of conversation that she’ll talk about. Sounds like a job interview to me.

But that has nothing to do with the question.
Arnold, expect nothing. If she doesn’t write/call/etc it just means she didn’t write/call/etc. No assumptions should be made about her thoughts, intents, or attitute toward you. What matters is what YOU do. If you want a second date YOU make the call. If she beats you to it, all the better.
Being DC the people work some pretty absurd hours. One or two “I can’t make it. I have to work.” excuses are fine. By the time you hit 5 “I’m busy”s you can stop and wait for her to call.

The answer is “yes” - - expect her to contact you and say thank you. You know, unless you don’t want to pursue a relationship with a woman who has manners and class.

Settle for anything less and you actually *would* be a beta.

My preference (I’m female) is to let the guy contact me first (hopefully the next day - I’ll have none of this 3 day rule), and I’ll respond right away with thanks and will convey whether or not I’m interested in seeing him again. However, if we’ve been friends or knew each other for a while before our first date and I really like him and trust his intentions and interest in me, I might contact him first. Or, if for some reason the guy spent a lot of money on our first date or went out of his way to do something special, I might write a letter of gratitude before hearing from him. But if the date just involved us meeting in the neighorhood for 2 drinks (especially if he does not pay for my drinks) I don’t see the point in going out of my way to thank him or chase after him.

To all those who say a thank you should be expected — what if it’s already said at the end of the night? Typically, on a first date, I make a point to thank the guy for dinner and say that I had a great time (assuming that’s the case). Would he really expect that I would contact him in the next day or so saying the same thing? I’ve always thought that was too much, unless I had another specific reason for getting in touch and just used that as an intro.

Personally I don’t really expect a thank you email after a date. If I like her, I’ll contact her again for a 2nd date.

Wanting a thank you for a date sounds pretty beta to me.

If you liked the girl, call her back for a second date. If she says no, who cares? Who went for what you wanted.

Not all girls have manners like K. In fact, this girl probably won’t contact you because the hot tongue action at the end of the night should have said it all for you. Don’t puss out with the “she didn’t call” shit. Nut up if you like her.

And cheers to DCB and his rare talent for demonstrating the eerily thin line between facetious and sociopath.

If she was the type of girl you wanted to take on an official date and then only kissed goodnight, chances are she’s the type of girl who will wait for you to call. Most classier girls tend to wait until the third or forth date to initiate contact (ie thank you after the date). At this point, she still wants to be pursued.

I have never once had a girl emial/call/text a thank you after a date. Doesn’t matter how well it went, if I saw the girl again or not, or if we ended up in love or not…never once. It does not matter. The thing to remember is that the guy always has to be in control. You should be planning when to contact, dates, and planning how to get her back your place for sex.

I have to disagree with AUA on this - I think a thank you at the end of the date is sufficient. I would not expect a reaffirmation of that the next day.

Give it a few days and call - not email or text - her for a second date. Don’t wait for signals.

Hi Arnold
In response to your question, what does your heart tell you???

I have high expectations but I’m seldom disappointed.

Absolutely DO NOT expect a thank you call/email- that is the guys job! Women want to be pursued, particularly if you’ve only gone on one date. Judging that she kissed you, I’d say you should definetely call her back and ask her out again.

You shouldn’t expect anything or your risk setting yourself up for disappointment. If she verbally expressed her enjoyment when she was with you that should be sufficient. If I really really had a good time I would probably email the guy the next day with a brief thank you. If she does email or call you, I’d say it’s a good indicator that she probably would like to see you again in the near future. Good luck.

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