When is a guy pushing the metrosexual vs. homosexual boundary? And not just in the bedroom, seeing as most guys are sexually inclined to get off regardless (even Will Young just admitted to the Brit Tabloids that he might sleep with a girl). What are the tell tail, nonverbal signs, that a guy is leaning towards another guy?
Kathryn says,
I think that is a really, REALLY tough thing to gauge in the Age of the Metrosexual. I know plenty of straight guys who are into hair products, what their ladies wear, the latest styles for men, hanging out with their moms, Sex & the City, whatever. You can’t name a “gay” thing a straight man somewhere isn’t into. Just doesn’t happen anymore.
So my best bet for you, the one thing outside the bedroom and grooming habits, is to watch whom he’s watching when you’re out in public. Are more ladies or men catching his eye? Does he give the hunky bartender the once-over, or is he slyly ogling every large-breasted woman who passes through his peripheral vision? Most people are not consciously aware of where their gaze lands, thus offering a great natural observation opportunity for you. Pay close attention.
PS - who the hell is Will Young?
DCB says,
I think a lot of metro’s are being labeled as homo even though they are just insecure in their appearance. I feel sorry for metro’s because they think women actually care about their clothing and hairstyle. My style is whack (I wear clothes from three seasons ago) and I have a mop on my head, yet I don’t have trouble with the ladies.
To answer your question, does he…
-watch gay porn?
-comment on the size of men in hetero porn?
-get along a little TOO well with gay guys?
-enjoy being hit on by gay men?
-have better eyebrows than you?
-have sex with other men?
I think you should question your taste in men if you are falling for guys whose sexuality is uncertain.
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My gay friends aren’t metrosexual at all. They have no lisp, no silly walk, no foofy clothes, have only committed relationships, and they live like college students. They do, however, have a couple of Pet Shop Boys CDs. One I knew them for 6 months before I realized he was gay. Another I knew for 2 years before he knew he was gay.
What a guy wears, how he does his hair, how he keeps his house, these aren’t at all reliable tests.
Listen to Kathryn and pay attention to who he’s watching. Listen to DCB when he says the real test is if he has sex with other men.
Comment by Ibid on 03/20/06.
I have to go with Kathyrn on this one, like Ibid I have had friends before whom it took me months to realize “batted for the other team”. One in particular you would’ve thought was your average skater/surfer dude, but it was the small things like whom he tipped at a bar or ordered drinks from more often… the hot male bartender vs. the big chested chick that finally gave it away.
As for metrosexual guys, well I am TOTALLY in to them .. I love a guy who can dress, is in style, has great hair that is styled appropriately and pays attention to details like their nails and hands (i.e. gets them manicured) .. I mean if I am going to let you touch me with those I appreciate you took the time to take care of them … that goes for feet too - I can’t stand nasty
unkempt feet! Also, Metrosexual doesn’t always mean feminine … I know and happen to be dating a VERY manly metro.
So I have to disagree with DCB on that point, there ARE women who appreciate and seek out Metrosexual men … however on the flip side there are women who prefer a little less refinement, want the scruff and would die if their man styled his hair or wore the latest trend. As the saying goes “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder”.
Comment by Windy on 03/20/06.
I am a crude jackass who happens to use “products” from Fresh, Aqua di Parma, Molton Brown, Kiehls, Remede, and ReVive, and I don’t think that anyone would mistake me for a butt-pirate…ever. Just because a man wears Hugo Boss, Zegna, Thomas Pink, Paul Stewart, Loro Piana, Brioni, etc.- doesn’t make him a pillow-biter, in fact it makes him more of a man because he is making himself more appealing to the very women he is trying to screw in an uncomfortable place, and no- not the back seat of a Volkswagen.
A man who presents himself well, can prepare a meal to seduce a piece o ass, can more easily get a chick wasted on good wine than swill some douche bag frat boy would order, and can purchase lingerie from Eres as opposed to crap from VS, will certainly get far more poon than an unrefined schmuck who doesn’t know the first thing about sensuality- which is what we are talking about here. Women are into the ways things feel, smell, and appear- and this is exactly the biological imperative that is reflected in the animal kingdom with the males of the species being more colorful and striking than their female equivalents in order to vie for their very attention. The less attractive/appealing males do not attain the interest of a mate, and cannot pass on their spunk to continue their line, and they die. This situation is no different, and any man who exhibits metro-behavior is more likely attuned to a woman’s needs sexually, than a man who is not. A manicure is a sign of a considerate sexual partner- hangnails and clits don’t mix.
When it comes to being gay, I don’t have a clue- but I would suspect that any dude who spends a lot of time watching other men when he is surrounded by tits and ass is likely willing to suck a golf ball through a garden hose. If this is the case, I would worry. If he comments about a pair of Jimmy Choo shoes- I wouldn’t stress much, unless he wants to borrow them.
Comment by puzzled poster on 03/20/06.
Best puzzled poster comment ever.
You had me at Fresh, but won me forever with Kevin Smith.
There fucked a handful of guys over the years where I thought, “Well, maybe he’s gay or bi?” They seemed effeminate or not really into sex or too concerned with hair products. Then I started fucking this guy who was in the Navy and was really butch. The sex was great and he even went down on me, but I had this nagging feeling that he was gay.
About 3 weeks into it we were laying in bed watching tv, and Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro came on the tv. He said, almost to himself, “Holy shit, I get a hard on just thinking about him.” I said teasingly, “Him? Did Carmen Electra get a sex change?” He said, “No, I’m talking about Dave Navarro.” We then had a frank conversation about how he thought he was gay, had joined the military to meet guys, but he still liked to fuck women every now and then to see if anything had changed. He left my place a few minutes later and I never saw him again.
My point? I dunno, I guess you just better hope that if you’re fucking a gay guy he will be upfront about his love for cock and not marry you and conduct clandestine hookups in park bushes for the next 30 years.
BTW, gay and bi are indistinct in my mind. I’m firmly in the “bi now, gay later” camp, at least when it comes to men.
Comment by DCRookie on 03/20/06.
“A manicure is a sign of a considerate sexual partner- hangnails and clits don?t mix.”
I heart puzzled poster!
Comment by Windy on 03/20/06.
Hey, that works for me. I’m going to suspend my “it’s not you, it’s me, I’m not ready for a relationship” speech and develop a new “I’m gay and in love with Dave Navarro” speech. Talk about a clean break.
“Hey, that works for me. I?m going to suspend my ?it?s not you, it?s me, I?m not ready for a relationship? speech and develop a new ?I?m gay and in love with Dave Navarro? speech. Talk about a clean break.” - RCR
Well, that would possibly work well, at least until the chick you are with says that watching you with another guy is a fantasy of hers. I would stick with the teleprompter routine to avoid any posibility of this occuring…unless of course, you like being called Fancy Pants- which I suspect, you don’t…
