So, here goes. I’ve been dating this guy for about a month, and despite the fact that we differ in quite fundamental, building-block-of-a-relationship-type ways (i.e. religion, political orientation, music, etc.), we still have this amazing chemistry that just won’t quit. We’ve been “taking it slow,” seemingly by his choice, which is fine with me and actually kind of nice. He’s not the most open about his feelings, so I take this to mean that he actually cares about me and doesn’t want to ruin it by rushing into a super physical relationship. Although I think that I have made it clear that I’m down.
Anyway, so we finally make it past second base (yes, I’m 27 and still calling it that) and you will hear no complaints from me. Actually, I am very impressed and happy to say that the passionate make-out sessions are translating in other ways. However, I did not reciprocate (although I am more than happy to do so) because he didn’t seem to want to go there. But, the main problem is this: the barely there penis. I’m talking the teensy-weensy stub, is it down there?, where is it hiding? kind of penis. Now, here is when the idea presents itself that maybe he does not, in fact, REALLY like me, but instead he is embarrassed of the size of his package. What to do? What to do?
I’m not going to lie and say that size doesn’t matter at all, because, well, then I would be a liar. But if he can satisfy me, I really don’t care. But I don’t want it to slip out and I certainly don’t want to not know whether or not the penetration has begun. With that, I really do like this guy and can actually see something really special between us, despite our differences. Any advice regarding small penises would be greatly appreciated!
Kathryn says,
Well, you already know for sure it’s really small, and you still want to move forward. Awesome for him. I think the best possible approach here is to *not* talk about it (very unusual advice for me). The last thing you want to do is say it’s big, or fine, or that you didn’t notice. He knows what he’s working with, and he’ll feel emasculated if he thinks you’re lying to him out of pity.
Instead, I recommend you take matters into your hands. And mouth. Give his little guy attention, perhaps being a bit aggressive if he’s resistant. Tell him sincerely how much you enjoy [sex act involving his unit that you do, in fact, enjoy]. Make it very obvious that he’s giving you pleasure, and that you want to give it back, just as you say above. As far as your intercourse-related fears about it slipping out/not being sure it’s in, well, all I can say is you’ll have to figure out through practice what positions will work and which ones won’t. No big deal. It may even be fun.
I can’t wait to hear what DCB says about this one.
DCB says,
I don’t have much advice to give you because I have no experience with small penises. And by penises I mean my own. And by my own I mean… I’M HUGE.
How about you be a 21st-century progressive woman (i.e. easy) and stick your hand down his pants? We don’t mind. There is a possibility that he has trouble getting hard unless his package is right about to penetrate female genitalia. Or maybe he’s impotent and needs some extended fluffing to get hard. But if he is small, I guarantee you he has mastered the art of going down on a woman, so your worry may translate into clitoral orgasms that are more powerful than vaginal ones you would’ve had with a normal-sized man. I wouldn’t know because I don’t go down on women. Good luck.
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Why don?t you just give a whale a tic-tac or throw a cocktail weenie down the hallway? I think that you are crazy to pursue your ?relationship? with Thumbilino ? sex is a very important part of any relationship, and not being satisfied is not an option. Regardless of the fact that this guy may go at your stank-box like a lhasa apso at a peanut butter tasting contest, it does not assuage concerns that he will always wonder why God has punished him. You have already stated that the essential foundations of a good relationship are at odds (religion, political orientation, etc.), and your need for a big hog and his ability to only provide a premie birth piglet falls into this category as well. Don?t waste your time on this any more. If you do, you might as well become a lesbian- because the idea of rubbing your clits together will become a matter of reality- with the exception of his balls potentially getting in the way of course?
Comment by puzzled poster on 03/16/06.
I think “people” would be shocked at how small the average is. If this guy is good at going down town, and you like him, I wouldn’t sweat this at all. It sounds like you have enough landmines in the future that penis size won?t be the deal breaker. Also, I have been *told* that guys who have little dicks like anal because it is better for them. Just throwing it out there.
Average is fine - we can work with average. But the teensy-weensy type that she is referring to is tough. I’ve been there, and I’m sorry to say that I ended up dumping the guy, because I just couldn’t work with it. The sight of the thing actually turned me off, and I couldn’t bring myself to just accept it as my fate. I suppose that makes me the superficial bitch that you’re trying not to be. But oy… I couldn’t have had it any other way.
Comment by Girl Anon on 03/16/06.
DCB, you don’t go down on women? Why not? Power thing or you just don’t like it? I just ask because with certain women, the thought of it makes my mouth water.
Comment by Nobody on 03/16/06.
My ex came back to me several times after she started seeing someone else. He was tiny (1.5″) and a vegetarian. She needed some steak and some beefcake.
But you weren’t asking us to strut around and tell big dick jokes (…so big my urologist needs a sherpa).
What’s he drive? That’ll give you some idea how sensitive he is about his size. If he’s driving a Porsche or a Humvee (H2 means “Has 2 inches”) then he’s pretty sensitive and the less said the better. Just ham it up a bit more while having sex.
If he’s got a Volkswagon or a Prius then he’s probably willing to joke about it, but only he can joke about it.
To help him get more comfortable you might want to wake him with a blowjob.
Comment by Ibid on 03/16/06.
I may be getting old. When I was young, the bases were “first = french kissing, second = tits, 3rd = pussy, 4th = sex.” Have the bases been recalibrated?
And since you have not recipirocated whatever he did to you (see question above), are you sure you have experienced him hard? You can’t judge a man based on how he is limp.
Comment by Chaco on 03/16/06.
and did he even get hard at all at anytime?
Comment by nabeel on 03/16/06.
Fist thing first.
There is no possible way on earth you know if the dude has a small slong if you haven’t seen it, or touched it hard.
So you are telling me the dude has a tiny wanker because you felt it though his pants.?
Are you serious?
Put it in your mouth and then write and tell us how small it is. Quit with the bullshit.
You haven’t even seen the thing. I bet he is a solid 4 inches and can give the donkey punch better then anyone in the District.
Tom (Laughing, and the hired public defender for all with small peckers - me not included)
Comment by Tom on 03/16/06.
Thanks for your words of advice…I am happy to report:
1. The deed was done and done well.
2. It’s not large by any means, but there’s certainly no questioning whether or not the penetration is occurring.
3. Decided to just go with it for now, and, as others have mentioned, there are several other “land mines” or “deal breakers” that will certainly rupture the relationship in the future. But for now, fuck it. Both literally and figuratively.
4. And he provides, without a doubt, some of the best cunnilingus ever…foreva eva. DCB: what’s your deal? If it’s a power thing, you must know that you are in the MOST control during that sitch. We are so dang vulnerable…if you know what you’re doing, that is.
5. Just so you know, I’m not trying to spend the rest of my life with this guy. Just trying to have some fun with someone who makes me laugh and likes to booze and do cool stuff around the city. Earth to dudes: chicks don’t always want to “settle down” right away either. We are about enjoying life, whether there is a huge dick lying next to us in the morning or not. But after years of bonafide good fucking and nice, large penises, I am grateful that the little guys can bring in the O’s as well.
Chaco: You are not old–those same standards apply, at least in my rule book. Others may beg to differ.
Comment by Superficial Beotch on 03/16/06.
BTW, Tom, why are you getting so defensive?? I regret to inform you that no one was attaching the size of your “pecker.”
And “a solid 4 inches?” Is that considered a good size these days?
Comment by Superficial Beotch on 03/16/06.
Oh come on girl, where’s your sense of adventure? Men with small penises are fun to play with because all it takes to get them off is a few extra moans and an “mm this feels good.” Ego stroking will probably go so far with this man that penis stroking will be unnecessary. Lie back and enjoy the good head.
