First Date DC

“but seriously, when should i call?”



Long distance letdown

Guy writes,

ok, guy meets girl about 6 months ago. girl is involved, but guy can tell she is interested, they exhange the occasional email, until girl leaves town for a couple of years for a work project. girl contacts guy 2 months ago, they email almost daily and talk regularly, although girl is 200 miles away. guy and girl go out when she’s in town, have a seemingly good first date, and girl goes back home to visit friends and family for a week. girl then gets dodgy, guy forces girls hand, and girl says she ran into an ex while out of town and they’ve decided to get back together. question - do you think she really is getting back w/the ex (who is across the country) or is that just a blow off line?

DCB says,

Sorry bro, you’ve been elimidated. She thought you were a real man, but then you got all desperate on her and now she’s fucking that sleazy Middle Eastern guy she met at the club. I can tell you are a desperate guy because you were actively pursuing poon that was 200 miles away. Every heard of this place called Rumors?

Kathryn says,

Not knowing anything about her, my guess is it was just a blow-off line.

Sometimes, when an attached girl acts interested in a guy, she is responding more to his interest and attention than she is exhibiting an actual, natural attraction to him. This was likely the case with your girl when everything started. When she contacted you a couple of months ago, she may have been feeling lonely either because she just broke up with someone or because she’d gone a while without really meeting anyone she found desirable. She remembered you liked her, and she reached out. Email and phone contact ensued, and you guys finally had an in-person date. After which she got “dodgy.” I’m guessing nothing sexual really happened on your date, because she probably found/remembered she wasn’t physically attracted to you. Then, you say you had to “force her hand” - so you backed her into a corner, and she grasped for an excuse, one that wouldn’t hurt your feelings because I’m sure she likes you as a person, and she came up with the ex excuse. I’m imagining a lot as you don’t provide a whole lot of details, but I’m pretty sure this is what went down on her side. I’m sorry. Let her go.

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3 Comments »

Does it matter?
Either way, you’ve been shown the door.

Comment by AUA on 03/28/06.



I’ve had my fair share of long distance relationships.
I came to DC instead of London, Sydney, or Seattle because there was a telephone relationship with someone here. We soon found out that while we were great on the phone we liked to do different things. (i.e. I don’t like bars and she doesn’t like much else). (1,000 miles)
There was another who I clicked with who got taller when she lie down. (900 miles)
And then there were the two who things went well with. (1,200 miles and 1,900 miles)
My dream girl wound up marrying a guy from London she met in a chat room. (7 time zones)
A former co-worker married a girl from the internet. (200 miles)

The point is that long distance relationships can work. In your case, it didn’t. There could be all kinds of reasons it didn’t work ranging from meeting someone else, to finding some conflict between the two of you, to the price of gas getting too high.
It doesn’t really matter why. You’ve been cut loose.
For a question like this you’d probably do as well asking the magic 8 ball.

Comment by Ibid on 03/28/06.



I agree with AUA- it’s not like you can get her back with an “Aha!” For whatever reason, she doesn’t want to go out with you. Let it go, and concentrate on local girls.

Comment by Pagan Marbury on 03/28/06.



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