This has happened to me numerous times before, and is about to happen again. Plese help me out. I know this girl, who’s probably about a 7 (within notch range but not dating range for my standards), who I met a few times (not dates–we have mutual friends of friends), and likes me a lot. It’s very flattering, and she would be a very easy score. The only problem is, I recently met her friend (not best friend, but pretty close) who is a 9, and very cool. I think I would have a pretty good chance with her, but she may be reluctant to show attraction to me (although she has flirted with me a little bit), as the 7 really likes me, and she wouldn’t want to jeopardize their friendship.
I will add that I have never met the 9 outside of the presence of the 7, as they hang out in the same circle. I do have contact information for each. So, should I go for the 9, the 7, or is there some magical way to pull off both? What do you think?
DCB says,
This is easy. Read carefully and you will get both notches within three months. First thing is you have to bang the 7, and don’t be all half-assed about it. Make sure you take her out and have a good time. Give her the best sex within your ability so that she tells the 9 what a stud you are. Then after a couple dates, have a “talk” with the 7. Tell her, “7, I think we have a really good time together, but I can’t help that I really like 9. I’m sorry.” This will really fuck up their friendship because now the 7 will always hate the 9, who will probably never find out the real story. The 7 will be paranoid that the 9 is stealing her men: “She knows I’m not as pretty as her, why can’t she get her own man!”
Then after you let things simmer for down for a month or two, contact the 9, saying you hope she is still friends with the 7. You want her to say something like, “Oh it could be better.” DO NOT EXPRESS YOUR FEELINGS FOR HER. Then casually ask her for a drink and take care of business.
Kathryn says,
You are wise to indicate the level of their friendship, because your potential success hinges on exactly how close 9 and 7 are. If they are confidantes/BFFs, you’ll never get 9 instead of 7, because she’ll think you’re a pig who doesn’t recognize 7’s great qualities, and she would never lose her friendship with 7 for some guy. If they are more social/going out friends, then your chances are much greater. Sounds like they are a bit in between, but closer to the BFF side. So.
I say you go for 9 first. If you’ve never asked out 7 or had a drunk hook-up with her or gotten her number or anything like that, the girls should be mature enough to know you didn’t lead 7 on and that’s just the way things pan out sometimes. If 9 likes you, she’ll go out with you. But if, after a reasonable amount of effort, things don’t pan out with 9, I’d go for a drunk hook-up with 7. It might take a little more effort to get her than it would if you’d never tried for 9, but I’d wager it could still happen if you get nowhere with 9.
As for pulling off both…never going to happen. Not unless you try for them several months apart (the 9 before the 7) and make sure the second one never knows how far things went with the first. Nice try, though.
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i believe Seinfeld tackled this one where Jerry wanted the roomate with the good laugh.
start going out with 7, then suggest a threeway, once rebuffed you can try for the 9 since the 7 won’t want any part of you.
thnak you television
Comment by n on 03/21/06.
What about a threesome?
No, just kidding. Kind of.
Seriously…I would say either way you hit it (heh) then you have to play it carefully. If you choose 9 first, you have to make sure 7 doesn’t get upset…so that you can possibly hook up with 7 later if you want. Chances are that she’ll still like you, AND you’ll be the one she didnt’ get - so she might go for you then regardless of what you did with 9.
If you go for 7 first, you do have to be careful that 9 doesn’t think you are a pig if you go after her next…so you need to make sure you let 7 down easy, or either that make sure 7 knows it’s a very casual thing (if that’s what you want).
Personally, 7, 9…what’s the difference? They both seem like they’re cool and you obviously like and respect them in their own way. I would have to see photo proof to determine the better quality notch.
However, both could blow up in your face…so maybe you’re better off looking elsewhere. And maybe getting a “oops I’m so drunk” hook up now and then.
On another note, maybe 9 is just being nice and friendly to you because she knows 7 likes you, and 7 is her friend so she’s being cool with you.
9 first then 7, go with Kathyrn’s response because although in a fantasy world DCB’s response would work and be your ideal … in reality not a chance! Especially if they are close, 9 will never go out with you after you [hit] 7. The key to all of this is what you said here: ” I will add that I have never met the 9 outside of the presence of the 7, as they hang out in the same circle.” If you had met 9 apart from 7 things might be different. Good luck!
Comment by Win on 03/21/06.
He’s deluding himself about the 9
Comment by anony on 03/21/06.
I think he should bang 9 first, then try for a bonus lay with 7, especially if these 2 girls aren’t BFF. Here’s how I see it playing out: he bangs 9, gets tired of her after awhile and dumps her. A few months later he comes sniffing around 7. 7 feels flattered that he’s showing her attention again, especially after he hooked up with a chick who was hotter. 7 will want to feel like she’s in the company of 9 (and what if *she* can actually keep him around? That would make her alpha female!) and will be in this guy’s bed in no time.
Comment by DCRookie on 03/21/06.
I have to agree with “anony”- this guy is full of it. I seriously doubt that “9″ actually wants him.
Comment by Another Anon on 03/21/06.
you sure want your cake and eat it, too…
Comment by nabeel on 03/21/06.
The 9 knows she’s hotter than the 7. Therefore, if you hit the 7, you put yourself in the category of guys who can only get a 7. She might think you are beneath her. Whereas, if you get some time alone with the 9, you can say something about how you are flattered by 7’s attention and affection, and you don’t want to lead her on, but 9- the one you are talking to- is really more your type. I agree that you can probably hit the 7 on down the line. Most girls don’t have the self-esteem to walk away from that scenario, but they should.
What a fun game. Yeah, I’d say 9 first, as 7 probably has low self esteem and won’t mind being sloppy seconds or the runner up. Pagan M. hit it on the head.
If his goal is to hit it w/ the 9 then he should try for just that. I mean sure it’d be nice to get the 7, but I am sure this little “stud” can get others in that range and certainly others that may not cost him a 9. I also agree w/ the sloppy seconds theory as a sufficient sob story to 7 about how 9 is “too into herself” or whatever would probably do the trick to get 7 in the sack.
And, while DCB’s advice is quite creative (and maybe tested), I would caution against hedging your bets to get the 9 later. If you only get one shot, which one do you want to take? Also, it’s shitty to hurt a friendship (though I am skeptical that’s actually what would happen)
Go for 7 first. 9 is used to having guys hit on her first all the time.
9 will wonder why you aren’t going for her, since all the ohter boring schlubs do. This will intrigue her about you.
7 will be flattered that you are flirting with her instead of 9. Bang 7 if possible, then ditch. Go on to 9, who will be relieved that you are finally paying attention to her. Bang at will.
By the way, this has worked for me at countless parties. Identify your targets. rank them. Move up the scale.
Comment by newhus on 03/26/06.
Bang the 9 for a bit, then downshift to the seven. Butter the 7 up by telling her that she’s the most attractive girl in her circle. It’s better to knock off the 9 who probably won’t stick around and then keep the 7.
Comment by Stating the Obvious on 03/27/06.
Is this thread for freakin’ real?!
OP - you don’t deserve *either* one. You’re better off with your hand and some kleenex until you grow up a little bit and learn how to treat women right.
