Comments on: Not-so-easy lover

By: Ibid

Ibid — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 13:48:57 +0000

I’m not willing to dismiss him being shy. Or clueless. He could be clueless.
It’s been a long time since Dad was dating, but he would rarely ask a woman on a third date because a kiss was expected on the third date. When he was dropping Mom off at her house he came in to use the restroom. She blocked the door and refused to let him leave until she got a kiss.
That was 35 years ago. Times have changed. If the chatter here is any indicator a guy is presumed gay if he doesn’t make a grab for the breasts by the end of the first date.

Here’s what you do. Next time he asks you out for happy hour suggest something else. I dunno. Dinner or something. Some guys still like to take their time. Some guys haven’t the foggiest idea how to date, let alone get a woman in bed. Help the guy out a bit.

By: Stephen

Stephen — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 14:30:08 +0000

Ibid,

Props to your Dad. That’s awesome.

By: Chaco

Chaco — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 16:15:22 +0000

Why should a guy have to “work” to get sex from you? This is classic prostitution disguised as a “Cosmo Dating Tip of the Month”. Oh, he has to shell out some money first? He has to take you on a classy date or two? Is this his payment upfront in exchange for sex? Why can’t sex be something you engage in because it is a pleasurable thing to do with a person you like?

Anyway, you should also be aware that the “I can’t stay I have an early meeting in the morning” is a line that all girls use to avoid sex on weekday nights. So he probably though you were giving him the standard BS line and are therefore prudish, per DCB’s comment. Moreover, to avoid the prostitution-in-disguise issue discussed above, some guys have a rule: no dinner dates until AFTER sex. The theory is that a nice dinner should be a reward for sex, not a bribe to induce sex. He may be playing acording to that rule. If that is the case, he has game, is likely a real alpha male, and you should work to keep him.

By: Sally

Sally — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 16:33:37 +0000

Maybe he is just interested in giving her Le Sex, not dating her. That would explain the happy hour only dates, which are a perfect set-up to “why don’t you come over to my place”.

By: V

Tue, 11 Apr 2006 16:53:55 +0000

This line scares the hell out of me: “I?m not a prude believe me, but I do think a guy has to do some work before I?m going to want to sleep with him especially if I?m sober!”

It really sums up why DCB and others can have full right to hate on girls. This says 1) I don’t like sex sober/am a lazy lay 2)I sleep w/ a guy who spends money on me NOT because I think he has qualities i like. Jesus Christ. That’s terrible. If he’s a nice guy, and you’re attracted to him, why wouldn’t you want to fool around–because he didn’t buy you a salad before? Sad.

By: Girl Anon

Girl Anon — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 19:02:40 +0000

I love how men immediately jump to the assumption that when she says “do some work” she means “spend some money.” As a woman, I took it to mean, “spend some time together getting acquainted and determining if he is worthy.” She never once mentions money in her post. Why you gotta hate?

By: Andy

Andy — Tue, 11 Apr 2006 19:57:59 +0000

Inviting you out to three happy hours is a low-involvement way of seeing if you were a scary chick. Usually one is enough for me, then I can decide if she’s worth the investment of my time.
Maybe he drew it out to three because he wasn’t quite sure about you. Or he could be lazy (thus, happy hour is a suitable date for him). Or he felt you weren’t worth the “work,” but would put the idea out there anyway just in case you weren’t the type who would hold out on him. Kind of sounds like he’s an amateur at this though.

In sum: Don’t expect him to call you again unless he’s desperate. And as for you, don’t let that fact bother you. You’re looking for something more than he’s willing to offer, so forget him.

By: Jada

Jada — Thu, 20 Apr 2006 19:01:51 +0000

Frankly he sounds boring and not that interested in you. I’m not sure why your’re interested in him. “Successful” and has only invited you on 3 happyhour dates? Also sounds lazy and whatever happens to be easy and convenient for him. I really don’t think he is looking for a serious relationhip with you. If you like what he is giving you so far, then stick around and hope for the best. Don’t analyze him. With that said, his NON actions and what he does do speaks volumes. If he really liked you he’d be showering you with a lot more attention and much taking you out on much more interesting “dates”. Especially at this stage of the game. Whatever you do don’t contact him. Don’t waste your time on this dude. If he wants to find you he will. What a slug.