Hey DCB/Kathryn. Been reading this blog for quite a while and I love the advice! However, it’s about time I ask for a bit of my own.
I’ll be moving to DC in a couple months for law school and was curious if you could shed some light on the city’s overall hookup/dating scene. I’m in my mid-twenties (translation: past the fraternity party stage but still way into the bar scene), and am a fairly decent looking dude. I’ve never really gotten a girl on my looks alone but I don’t send them running away screaming either.
Assuming I have the time as a first year law student (I always manage to find time for these things), what’s the best way to meet people in the area? Whether I’m looking for a new friend, a drunken hookup, one night stand, or a causal date, what general advice do you have for doing so in DC?
I’ve tried the match.com deal, with little success. I do much better in person where I can think on my feet and interact directly with people. I have virtually no approach anxiety and consider myself to be very outgoing.
Thanks in advance for any help you can provide!
DCB says,
You have a few options, none of which are that appetizing:
1. Grind it out. Go to the bars, approach, game, get rejected, etc.
2. Bang your classmates.
3. Join some sort of club or be a regular at a place that has girls you like. Maybe the bookstore, museums, city park, whatever. Maybe join a 20-something volunteer group. Maybe go to church and manipulate a virgin.
I’ve been doing number one for several years, but I’m having a hard time meeting quality women as my stock goes up. I stop by the clubs still to keep my game sharp, but I secretly wish I could meet an 18 year old at Target in the kitchenware section.
PS. Please, stay away from the internet. No good will come out of it.
I said and stand by this statement: “I have a lot of quality, interesting, attractive, intelligent female friends of all ages (23 - 40). They lament the lack of quality, interesting, attractive, intelligent men in DC. These women can be found, depending on day, hour, and mood, at the gym, the grocery store, the dive bars, the charity circuit events, the newest, hippest lounges, the local Starbuck’s, the metro, the bookstore, ANYWHERE. So how do you find them? Like DCB said: just get out. Plow ahead. Travel. Don’t give up. Be patient.” And if, as you said, you’re cute and have no approach anxiety and work well one-on-one, then you should do really well meeting women all over the city, day or night.
One thing I would warn you against is dating your classmates. You’ll be working with them for three years. I have heard from friends in law school and med school and so on that over the course of your program, things get pretty 90210/Melrose incestuous, with everyone having dated everyone else. Hm. Maybe I mean, if you like someone, try to date them immediately before all your classmates have been there.
In any case, good luck and welcome to DC!
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DC is a great city for joining things too. You should consider joining a kickball team or a softball team to meet people. Also, if you’re connected to a religion at all, there are tons of Young Professional groups for these communities. They usually require little time and often have activities set up for potluck dinners or for someone to show you around town. Another great way to meet people in DC is to join a museum like the Corcoran or the Phillips as a Young Professional. For $100 you’ll get invites to special programs and openings with people of a similar interest and background PLUS you’ll gain points with a lady if you invite her to an opening.
Comment by Sam on 06/22/06.
Speaking as someone from a VERY small law school, DO NOT date your classmates. Law school is basically an amped-up version of high school and it DOES get very 90210-ish. I’ve seen several law school couples come and go, and the drama that ensues in the aftermath is just not worth it. Some people can be incredibly vindictive and you don’t want to screw with your career before it even starts. Remember… these people are going to be your collegues. Do you really want to be able to say that you’ve slept with 2/3 of them?
Seriously, the nice girls are out there. You just have to look a little harder.
Dating your classmates has pros and cons. I just finished law school, and there definitely was alot of drama my first year w/ people who dated and then broke up, but there have been many other couples that have stayed together. Pros: you will have a lot in common, they will be going through the same experiences as you, it can be hard for other people not in law school that you are dating to understand what you are going through, there are tons of social opportunities to meet people, etc. etc. CONS: law school can be a lot like high school, so expect TONS of gossip, you will have to see that person for 3 years if you break up, you may have TOO much in common, you don’t want all of your classmates (and likely future colleagues) to know all about your personal life.
Overall though, I think the Pros outweigh the Cons, because I have seen many people who start out in relationships when they start law school break up because the experience can put alot of stress on the relationship, particularly for the person not in law school.
Comment by jg on 06/22/06.
I second the suggestion to join kickball or softball… kickball, especially, is chock full of single people in their 20s and 30s looking to meet, make out, have one night stands, and even (occasionally) have relationships. http://www.playnakid.com or http://www.dckickball.org
Comment by Anonymous on 06/22/06.
Good bars for getting laid and/or meeting girls. I realize some of these are very cheesy.
Capitol Lounge
Bottom Line
Clarendon Ballroom (chicks like bands)
Tune Inn
Felix
Front Page
Anywhere in Dewey Beach
If you can’t get laid in Dewey, I can’t help you. But, contrary to popular lore, Dewey is full of nice, “normal”, fun loving girls with disposable incomes, great attitudes and a love for sunshine and live music. You could join a beach house, or guest at one, and make lots of friends to hang out with back in DC.
I would recommend on focusing on all the hotness that is out there in Northern VA. For example, I hear that the Applebees in Falls Church is off the chain. If that is too upscale, there is always the T.G.I. Friday’s in Woodbridge.
Comment by karl pilkington on 06/22/06.
I refuse to go to Front Page anymore because of its cheesiness, but I did consistently meet white girls there.
Comment by DCB on 06/22/06.
Pilkington’s right on. those places are CRAWLING with hot ass.
Comment by Cassanova on 06/22/06.
Maybe you can join a kickball team. There seem to be a plethora of fun girls that are WAKA fanatics. I’m not really down with dating people in school, even law students, but I’m sure there are plenty of women in the city that you can meet.
Comment by holiday on 06/22/06.
I’m single and hot. Date me.
Comment by jaxdirects on 06/22/06.
WAKA?
explain.
Comment by Anonymous on 06/22/06.
The above list of bars greatly overlaps my list of places I avoid like the plague. The Bottom Line should be nuked.
I’m socially awkward, but I fear spheres. Baseball, basketball, kickball, soccer, these are all sports where hard round things fly out of nowhere and hit me in the head.
Kathryn, Is is that bad for women in dc as you make it sound? I have some of my male friends say the samething about women in dc. DCB is right, bars and clubs are good for practicing “games” and stuff, but not meeting a caliber woman. Volunteering and just putting yourself out there are the best options as far as I am concerned.
Comment by madman on 06/25/06.
thanks for all the help folks! just got back from visiting the city this weekend and I can’t WAIT to move in next month.
kickball eh? … why not.
Comment by new2dc on 06/25/06.
forgot to add this:
in response to Kathryn’s inspriational quote, I agree. However, I think it’s a lot more difficult to meet these women during the day, since, at a bar/club etc, they’re in a more social mood and are more receptive to approaches than the girl reading con law at 2pm at a Starbucks would be. Any ideas/suggestions on how to work around this?
