First Date DC

“but seriously, when should i call?”
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June 16, 2006

What’s going on

D.H. writes,

Hi,

You seem to be pretty on the ball about this stuff. I have a situation that has mystified everyone I know, and would be most grateful to hear your thoughts. Because this is so baffling, I will be very detailed, so I apologize ahead of time for the length. I’m a law student approaching finals, and this has been unacceptably agonizing and distracting for me.

I met a guy online who was new to the area, and we hit it off instantly through email. Our first date (Wednesday) went VERY well, even though we probably drank too much and ended up making out (which I really didn’t want to do on the first date). The next day (Thursday), he emailed and said that we should do dinner, that he was tempted to schedule it for the next day (Friday), but was afraid he may be too tired from work and knew that it being so soon would probably “break the rules” (teasing). So then suggested Sunday for dinner. I texted him saying, well, at least one of us abides by rules, Sunday is fine; but call me if you get a surge of energy tomorrow and want to do something.

The next afternoon (Friday), I get a text from him around 7:30 (so too late for dinner) saying that he wasn’t too tired and would I like to meet up. We ended up going for drinks, and again drinking too much (I realize this was stupid), but things went well again and we completely made out again in the cab, HEAVY petting.

So later that night, I drunk email him. I have no idea what it said whatsoever, beyond beginning it with “Listen up, hotstuff.” Hotmail does not automatically save sent messages.

The next morning I vaguely remember sending said email, and send him a lighthearted email saying that I vaguely remembered sending a drunk email, and asking him to disregard it. I hear NOTHING for a week. At this point, I figure the drunk email must have said something clingy or offensive, but again, no idea. Sunday comes, and we had potentially had dinner plans, but I wasn’t sure if our little last minute drink date Friday was meant to substitute for it (recall his email about rules).

So again, nothing for a week. Today, one week later (today), I call him and he actually answers. He is participating in happy hour. I say (craftily), “Sorry I’ve been out of touch, I had a paper to do this week. Let’s do dinner this weekend.” And he said yes, Saturday.

I’m half-expecting him not to show. The skeptic in me thinks that he must have deleted my number from his phone, which is why he answered. Perhaps he was a bit drunk too, I couldn’t tell. But maybe I caught him off guard, which is why he agreed to dinner, because he couldn’t think quick enough to lie.

Maybe he’ll call and cancel tomorrow, I don’t know. My question is, what the hell is going on? What do you make of this situation? Is there any excuse at all for hearing nothing, no reply to email, etc. for a week? Especially when things had gone SO well on our dates, and we had been in frequent email correspondence? I’d also love to hear any advice you have about how to tackle tomorrow’s date. Your response is incredibly valuable to me. Let me also say, you needn’t waste your time lecturing me about the drinking; I’ve learned my lesson ;) Thanks!!!!!

Kathryn says,

First off, I’d like to apologize for not answering your question for a while. The tomorrow to which you refer was weeks ago. Sorry. Now, on to your question…

Sweetness, I’m sure you had the best of intentions, but please know this: your calling him and asking him out after he ignored you for a week was not “crafty.” It was a tiny bit desperate. There is almost NO good excuse for a healthy man not to contact you for a week. He could have texted, emailed, or called - all of which take but a few seconds of one’s time - and he simply chose not to do so. You were the last person to call, to text, to email, and to ask the other out, right? Multiple times, even. Doesn’t that seem off balance to you? Lack of effort equals lack of interest. I’m sorry to say I don’t think he enjoyed the dates as much as you did, and whatever you wrote in your drunk email (and your wimpy sober follow-up) confirmed his doubts.

Know this also - everyone has had this experience, and it says nothing about you as a person. On to the next!

DCB says,

You must have written the worst drunk email ever. Experts say that your drunk behavior represents how you really want to act in normal situations. Therefore you are a clingy, psycho bitch. Just kidding, but you are pretty needy. You probably scared him into thinking that banging you would result in an insta-stalker. Chasing him down after he completely dissed you confirms my suspicion.

At least you learned: never contact someone while drunk, under any circumstance.

June 14, 2006

Crazy in head, crazy in bed

SPANKY writes,

I recently discovered a problem in my sex life. I was in a 3-year relationship with a woman which ended about 4 years ago. The sex we shared was wild, uninhibited, and experimental to say the least. We did stuff that would make mainstream porn seem Puritanic. As a 35 year old guy I have had many sexual partners but nothing up to that point was like the sexual relationship we shared.

I should add that the woman in question had an extremely f-ed up childhood and I believe this certainly contributed to the adventurous nature of our sex. There definitely seems to be a connection between great sex and psychologically disturbed women.

The problem is that all of my subsequent sexual encounters have seemed mild and downright boring in comparison. When I date a woman and it gets to the sexual stage of the relationship I am discovering that I need the “kink factor” or I quickly lose interest. The girls I meet seem a little too “normal” when it comes to sex and when I even hint at experimentation I can tell it is something they are not comfortable with or have not experienced.

So my questions are as follows: Will I ever be able to enjoy plain old “normal” sex again or will I always require the kink? Was I just lucky to have found a girl who was so sexually uninhibited and that this is a typically rare characteristic in women? Is the psychotic sex partner AND the stable girlfriend combination even possible?

DCB says,

Unless you tell me what you did, it is hard for me to answer this question with the accuracy that you have come to expect. Role-playing? S&M? Double-anal?

You will always require the kink because you have habituated yourself to normal sex. Especially when considering your age, I am sure that you have had enough sexual experiences - and porno movie viewings - that straight-up missionary doesn’t do it for you anymore. Even spanking and hair-pulling may only give you a partial hard-on. There are a lot of crazy girls that would like to meet a dirty, old man such as yourself, so I wouldn’t consider this a problem. As for wanting a freak in the sheets and lady on the streets, get in line.

My friend taught me a line that is supposed to bring out the freak in every girl. I haven’t used it in years because I naturally bring out the beast in a woman, but maybe you can use it as a test. In public tell your girl, “I want to fuck the shit out of you.” If she doesn’t drag you to the nearest bathroom or start talking about getting violently fucked, you got a prude on your hands.

Kathryn says,

I am way out of my league here.

But I will say, if you want to, you can
1. Enjoy the normal sex… just indulge in the kinky porn and have a good go-to memory bank of images.
2. Introduce some of the non-painful, less-degrading things you’d want over time with a good, understanding, adventurous woman some day.

WAY out of my league.

June 13, 2006

MySpace sucks

Met him on MySpace writes,

A little over a month ago, I received a message thru My Space from this guy who happens to be a MPDC cop. He is in the K9/SOD unit and is also a volunteer firefighter in MD. He is a huge overachiever in that he has earned a firefighter of the year award last year and has an impeccable service record with the MDCP. I work for a civil rights organization work your typical 9a-6p m-f, and he works 4a-2p m-f, and sometimes on the weekend. We met in person after a couple of days chatting online. We had lunch and dinner on the same day that we met. We really hit it off. We talked everyday either by phone or online for about 2 1/2 weeks until we had sex. The reason it took so long was because of our schedules, and we both went out of town on separate weekends. Another major fact is he lives in Crofton, MD I live out by Springfield, VA. We spoke again every day either on phone or online for a week after we had hooked up.

Then all of a sudden about 3 weeks went by, and I didn’t receive a phone call, let alone did we even chat. The only form of communication did I receive was about 3 messages thru myspace saying he was really sorry he hadn’t called me, he has been VERY BUSY. Last week, I sent him this:

Subject: HINT

i think i got it now… thanks.

He replied,
u dont have it….. stop being silly.. i have been very busy and i apologize 4 not calling u back

I replied,
your not the POTUS, your NOT that busy. Please don’t patronize me, I’m not being silly. “act like you care” then.

I chatted with him for a little bit on Sunday, again him apologizing for not calling. blah blah and today, low and behold he called me at work, wanting to make plans this weekend. I replied with I’m busy but I’ll let you know if anything changes. I have to work on a project. (which is all true). Now, what has got me on the fence is that , we had great chemistry. Convo’s were interesting and humorous, we talked about sex and about our jobs and families. He was clearly very interested in more than just sex and the only thing we would bitch about was the fact we lived so far apart so hanging out was an issue. Even when we did have sex, for me it wasn’t all that, but because I liked him as a person, I was going to give him a chance. I love sex, he knows that, but our hook up left a lot to be desired.

My issue is , what is this guy’s deal? When I told him that I got the HINT, (if that’s what he was trying to give me by not calling me) that it was okay, and I’d move on. However, he rebuffed that and told me that wasn’t the case. So what is the case?

Kathryn says,

You say 2 1/2 weeks was “so long” before you had sex, and that it would have been sooner if your schedules and locations were better matched. So in other words, you kinda jumped in the sack with him.

Here’s my interpretation, and I know it will sound harsh and judgemental: he was blowing you off after sex. Yes, he started letting you down easy for a week, then he disappeared (probably after some other woman, giving her the attention you received for the 2-3 weeks pre-sex). But then you reached out to him and tried to engage him in conversation, showing you were still interested. He’s now trying half-heartedly to get more sex, since he figures you’d be willing. He’s not treating you as if he’s interested in you as a person, at least not based on what you’ve written. I’d stop communicating with him in any way.

PS - I’m 95% sure this guy once messaged me on MySpace. I didn’t write back as his message was insipid and extremely poorly written. I’m sorry you didn’t do the same.

DCB says,

Where should I start?

1. You are meeting men on myspace? What’s wrong with you?

2. I’m sure you’ve been pumped and dumped before, especially with that attitude. You made an already awkward situation REALLY awkward. Do you honestly think he will read your bitter messages and all of sudden want to bang you again? Men don’t like weird situations.

3. You banged a guy who writes “4″ and “u.” How old is he, 12?

Readers: this is a classic p&d. Notice how attempts to deny the p&d by being bitter and needy only results in more bitterness and embarrassment. Let it go and try again.

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June 12, 2006

Herpes help

Full Disclosure? writes,

I contracted genital herpes when I was in college and have been living with this for about 15 years. All things considered it is not really too difficult to live with. I get an outbreak maybe once a year that lasts for a few days, and I am so “in tune” with the sensation of an impending outbreak that I am able to pump up the meds and usually avoid it altogether. These signals also allow me to be safer sexually. My cautious approach has allowed me to be in several relationships over the years and my partner has always remained herp-free.

The most difficult part of the whole herp thing is how to disclose it to a partner. I have tried different tactics, from telling the person up-front and prior to any type of sex, to not telling them at all (such as a one-night stand scenario, with protection of course).

My question is this: When is the right time (and right way) to tell someone? I mean, if I told a one night hook-up prior to the act chances are I would be left high and dry. On the other hand, if I genuinely like someone and can see the relationship going somewhere then of course I want to be honest from day one.

And Kathryn specifically: What if you had sex with a guy (always with condoms) and eventually the relationship grew more serious. If he told you AFTER the fact, would you still be pissed even though he wore protection? What if he had told you PRIOR to any sex, would that have killed things right away?

Great site guys,,, and go easy on me DCB!

DCB says,

The odds you will infect a woman while using condoms AND not having an outbreak is so low it’s negligible. Therefore I would not say anything unless you are ready to move into unprotected sex. But then again I don’t have a “the world is falling” outlook on STDs like most women.

I would be forced to think about things if a girl I was having protected sex with told me she had the herp. While I would not be mad or upset at her, I would wonder where this relationship is going and if she is important enough for me to possibly get the fire-crotch.

In conclusion, I try to assume every girl I have sex with has herpes, so there is no reason for me to care. I would definitely like to know before I stick it in raw though. Make it subtle by leaving out your Valtrex on the dining room table.

Kathryn says,

I would be upset if someone I was dating - not just having a one-night stand with - didn’t tell me about an STD as serious and uncurable (if treatable) as herpes until after we’d been having sex, even with condoms.

The way I see it, you have to give the person the choice of taking the risk. How did you get herpes? I’d imagine not by choice, and if you had the situation to do over again, you’d wish the person was honest with you and allowed you to take the precautions you felt most comfortable taking. It’s great that you are so in tune with your body and your symptoms that so far you have been able to keep long-term partners herpes-free. But you need to allow the other person - especially if you hope to build trust and a good relationship with them - to have the power to decide if they want to take the risk.

As for one-night stands, I believe I read recently that many people have successfully sued partners for giving them STDs without disclosing their status before intercourse. I’m pretty sure the incubation period for herpes is shorter than the statute of limitations. You may want to think about that.

June 9, 2006

Kicking her to the curb

J. writes,

Hi DCB and Kathryn,

I live in the inner suburbs with my girlfriend. We’ve been together for over a year now and we’ve lived here for eight months. When we got together, she was just finishing school down south, and the only way to get her to the area was for us to live together, with me paying the rent for a couple months until she got her career started. Where we live isn’t bad, but I want to move into DC. I know specifically where I’d like to live, and I can afford it.

The problem is that she can’t afford to live in DC, nor is she inclined to, for various reasons. I think she expects me to stay here, but my mind is made up. So at least in terms of living arrangements, we’ll be parting ways. I have my doubts as to whether our relationship will survive living together and then… un-living together, but I wouldn’t ask you to speculate on that. I’m more interested in how to make this the least painful for her, emotionally and financially.

There’s a little over four months until our lease is up, which is ideally when I’d like to move. At some point, we have to have the actual conversation about not living together anymore. If we have this conversation early, she gets to live in a one-bedroom apartment with a roommate she hates. If we have the conversation later, she finds out that she’s going to have to move out, find a new place, and come up with a security deposit and moving money, and sooner rather than later. So I don’t know when to broach the subject.

Lastly, what would you consider “going too far” in terms of helping her financially, eg, giving her money for a security deposit? She’s a big girl and all, but her job (which she loves) really does not pay so well, so it will be difficult for her to save up for all the expenses associated with moving.

Kathryn says,

You definitely have to tell her sooner than later - no matter what problems it may cause in your relationship. It’s always better to be the considerate, responsible guy who broke her heart than the asshole who dumped her and kicked her to the curb with two weeks to find a place. But you know this.

When you guys talk about it, and all the way up until you do move, make sure she knows you want it to be as painless as possible for her. Offer to loan her some money if she needs it. Offer to help her move her stuff. Offer to go look at places with her. Tell her you’ve always wanted to live in the city and you’d regret it if you didn’t do it while you are still young and childless. Yes, you guys may break up because of this, but there’s no reason your parting has to be a big old dramaramadingdong. It’s all about the high road.

DCB says,

It benefits both of you if you bring this up quickly. For her so she knows what to do and for you so you can get this out of your mind. I suggest an inoculation two or three days you tell her by leaving out a DC apartment guide in the house. When you talk to her about it, I suggest to make it sound like it isn’t her at all. Stress your young age and your strong desire to live in the city. So that while you will definitely miss your living arrangement, the city calls and you can’t continue living life knowing there are other opportunities for you.

As for the money situation, you have two options. (1) Loan her money. This is a smart option if you never want to see her again. She will avoid you because she cannot pay the loan back, or (2) Give her money. This can be a bribe to make yourself feel better. Either way, you have zero obligation to give her anything.

June 8, 2006

You got played

Hating the Waiting Game writes,

I met this guy at a friend of a friend’s BBQ. He seemed alright, but I didn’t pay much attention to him. Apparently though, I made quite an impression on him because his friends passed on the word that he thought I was attractive. His friends kept on bugging my friend to give him my number. After a few days of incessant pestering on his friends’ part, I just asked for his and said I would call him if he seemed that into me. But I got word that he wouldn’t dare let me ask for his before getting mine, for fear of looking like a pussy.

So after some embarrassing middle-school behavior, he called me. We talked for over an hour about jobs, family, interests, religion, etc. The conversation seemed to be going really well. There were no awkward pauses. We seemed to have a lot of common interests. He commented several times on how intelligent I am and even said that he rarely comes across girls who are attractive and smart. We ended the conversation amicably and he asked me if it would be okay if we hung out. I said yes and he said he would call me when he got back from a job conference a week later. (Mind you, he was only going to Chicago, so it’s not like he was out of the country or anything.)

He’s been back for about 5 days, and still no call from him. I am genuinely interested in getting to know him because our hour long convo piqued my interest. However, I’m wondering if that same hour long conversation turned him off from me because I haven’t heard from him. Should I call this guy and risk hurting my pride? Is it certain that he has no interest in seeing me again?

DCB says,

How quickly the tables have turned! Notice kiddies how the dynamic between these two are like a see-saw: the girl had all the power first, only to be quickly weighted down by the man’s power after the phone conversation.

I do not know what you two talked about, but it does appear that the phone conversation has an opposite effect on him. He lost interest. I’m guessing you let out a vibe that you are not easy to get in the sack.

Kathryn says,

I would not call him. This guy seems to really love the chase. You didn’t give him too much encouragement when you met him, yet he hounded his friends to get him in touch with you. If you want to see him again - despite his interest clearly waning - then you need to put him back in chase mode. Step one - do not contact him in any way.

As for your conversation as turning point… I’m curious about his repeated comments on your intelligence. If these were observations based on what you were discussing, perhaps your topics were too heavy for a first phone call? As DCB said, that can indicate (if falsely) that you are very serious and not a lot of fun. It’s okay to be smart… it’s not okay to be a professorial blowhard from day one.

June 7, 2006

Confusion and rape accusations

Anonymous writes,

The back story - My best friend (GF) from college hooked up sporadically with another friend (HU) of ours for approximately 3 years. During this time HU had a significant girlfriend, slept with other people, and continued to be friends with GF; they just never did the relationship thing. The GF would sporadically feel horrible about their NSA arrangement (to the point of crying, mini depressions, swearing him off) then would hook up with him again. The whole thing became an eye roll inducing scene for the rest of us.

The incident - Almost a year ago, after a typical night of binge drinking the gf passed out on HU’s couch. A few of us tried to wake her up to take her home but she resisted so we rolled our eyes and went home, figuring they were gonna do their thing. Next day gf says that HU took advantage of her b/c she was passed out, that she started crying while they were hooking up and that they then lay in bed and talked for an hour about her various boy issues. HU’s recollection of that night is totally different. And yes, objectively they were both hammered.

Fast forward to approximately three months later and gf has handled event by completely avoiding HU to the point that she stops hanging out with the whole group. GF never said anything to HU about that night but is still despondent. The eye rollers secretly believe that her issues are more guilt and general crapiness about hooking up with HU for so long. A few more months pass and GF starts coming out to places where HU is, they talk and are normal, seems like things are normalish again. (Also GF now has boyfriend with whom she spends the majority of her time).

A few months ago, BF and I had huge fight about our own friendship issues and GF ends the whole thing by saying HU raped her and that she has secretly hated me since then for still being friends with HU and that we have different standards of friendship. Also b/c GF was with her new man and hating me, i developed a much stronger friendship with HU. The present - have not talked to GF since she cut me off, the whole group is moving away and it really hurts me to think that after 5 years of friendship, its all over.

Is the only way for our friendship to be salvaged for me to punch HU in the face and never talk to him again?

Kathryn says,

It really bothers me that GF waited months and months to use the word rape. She said “took advantage of” until you had a “huge fight” about your “own friendship issues.” It makes her accusation extremely suspicious. I don’t take rape or near-rape or date-rape situations lightly (who does?), but this seems a lot like she was desperately trying to say something to keep you as a friend, or hurt you worse than you were hurting her in the moment.

I am old and have left behind friends who were more trouble than they were worth because I didn’t want to put the time and energy into the friendship. So far, I have no regrets. The only people who came back into my life did so because we both changed enough to have a healthy (if not as close) friendship later on.

Please, please cut ties with her. Some day she may grow up, go through a little therapy and a lot of life experience, and be worthy of your friendship, trust, time, and energy. But she’s not there right now. I’m sorry.

DCB says,

I don’t see why people view friendships as investments: 5 years or 10 years, it doesn’t make a difference if the relationship breaks down.

Your friend definitely did not get raped. Judging by the amount of drama she produces, the rape accusation was just something she threw out there so you’d sympathize with her self-created situation. The friendship with your girlfriend has nothing to do with HU and everything to do with her. In other words, the friendship is over.

June 6, 2006

Women are crazy

Amanda writes,

I hear all of the time from my guy friends that all women are psycho or crazy. What does this mean in a guys world and how do you prevent getting that label? This discussion comes up and many times I hear stories and the girl sounds normal to me not crazy. Why do men use this label?

Kathryn says,

I think every woman has behaved regrettably at some point in her life thanks to moments of stress, desperation, and/or sadness. A lot of times, when guy friends of mine tell me about how their latest girlfriend or conquest went “batshit crazy,” I am reminded of things I did in the past, when I was so wrapped up in a problem I couldn’t think straight, and have trouble judging these women very harshly. However, I still agree they sound crazy.

I’d say you could prevent getting that label by always keeping everyone at arm’s length and never letting anyone get close enough to hurt you, but wouldn’t that make for a miserable existence? Beyond that, avoid boiling bunnies, following him around, or blowing very small issues up into major problems, and you should be set.

DCB says,

As long as you have a vagina, it is impossible for you to prevent getting this label. It stems from the fact that women are emotional creatures, and have very little ability to think logically or react to tough situations with calm. We use this label to justify the inane experiences we have with your kind, which desensitizes us to the absurdity of your shallow existence.

June 5, 2006

Take a hint

Idly wondering writes,

Thanks for the great site! I have a question regarding something I’m not all that pressed about (anymore) but still find confusing as hell.

Met a guy online, had a great first date, firmly believe he’s a genuinely good guy. Add to that he’s attractive, witty, cultured-without-being-pretentious, and laid-back. He keeps going out of town for work (environmental stuff being contracted out in a hurricane-affected area, so it makes sense and I do NOT believe he’s lying to me). We see each other about once a month for the next three months, when he’s back up here. Hug goodnight on first date, make-out session on second date, prolonged kisses on subsequent date.

Our last date, I told him I’d like to get to know him better. He replied that he finds me interesting, attractive, funny, etc but hasn’t “felt that spark” yet, though he’s “open to it developing.” Again with the kissing at the end of the night, but no inviting me in or whatever.

Now, he’s been gone for six months. (Contract keeps getting extended, damn governmental agencies.) He’s chomping at the bit to get home. How do I know this? Because every few weeks, I’ll randomly hear from him on IM. We’ll have several hour-plus conversations in a week, then not talk to each other for several weeks, then he’ll IM me out of the blue. I’m always happy to hear from him, but am completely mystified as to what’s going on/what his thought process may be. Flirting is kept to a minimum.

For the record, while I’d definitely enjoy seeing him again and have been on plenty of other dates, I wouldn’t be upset if we didn’t see each other again. I’m just curious as all get-out. Please translate!

P.S. He’s got a great social life with plenty of friends (and family) in the area and is very extroverted, so it’s not like I’m the only person he has to talk to.

DCB says,

You blew it. He was going by the playbook to get in your pants and you called off the game. If he has all the qualities that you mentioned, I guarantee he is banging some other girl who puts out regularly. He keeps in contact with you just in case you decide to stop acting like a prude. Short of spreading your legs open in front of his face, you have no shot.

Kathryn says,

Guys sure are a mystery, aren’t they?

I’m curious about the content of your IM sessions. Does he say he wants to see you when he gets back, or is he just talking in general about wanting to come home after six months away? Is there anything at all like cybersex going on? I need concrete evidence. IM is very easy to misinterpret, especially if you’re searching for some sign this guy likes you.

Then, is he somewhere he couldn’t call you? IM is so easy and passive. If you are only communicating that way, he may not be interested in you, but interested in passing the time with someone entertaining who is willing to IM with him for an hour on a regular basis. In his mind, he’s already said he doesn’t feel a “love connection” right now. Sure, he’s open to that happening, but he’s not there yet.

I guess I have more questions than answers this time around. I hope you check back in and give us a bit more background. Until then, I am glad you’re dating other people, and I hope you find someone who does feel that spark. You shouldn’t accept anything less.

June 2, 2006

I can’t believe he’s asking this

Parker writes,

I have a date coming up with a girl I met out last weekend. The problem is, I live in Arlington, and she lives in Adams Morgan. I’m new in town, and not too familiar with dating in the city. (No, I didn’t watch Sex and the City…)

If I drive my car, how can I quickly find a parking spot near her place if she asks me up? If the girl gives me the green light for “coffee” as I pull up to her place to drop her off, it would be pretty lame to follow that up by driving around for half-an hour looking for parking.

Should I make a reservation at a restaurant that’s walking distance from her place so I can find parking beforehand?

I almost always hook up at the girl’s place the first time–it saves them the walk/drive of shame, and they seem to be more confortable with it.

Any advice? Thanks.

DCB says,

Logistics are definitely important, but umm, who cares about parking? Worst case is you park illegally and maybe get a ticket. Getting laid trumps a $50 ticket in most cases.

Parking in Adams Morgan is a nightmare. Actually, Adams Morgan is a nightmare, but that discussion goes beyond the scope of this question. When I used to go to AM, I would illegally park in a metro zone or really close to a stop sign if I couldn’t find a space within 10 minutes. Out of the 15 or so times I’ve done it, I’ve received 2 parking tickets totally about $100. That is $7 per park.

If you are only worried about finding parking then I guess you really got your shit together.

Kathryn says,

I’d pick an AdMo restaurant that has valet or a parking lot validation thing going, within walking distance of her place. You guys eat, maybe have a nightcap at another destination, then you can offer to walk her home since your car is “so close.” Then it’s up to her to ask you up. Done deal.

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