First Date DC

Help me! writes,

So this is the situation.

I moved to a new city from DC about a year ago. I feel like I am a pretty decent looking guy, but my current dating life begs to differ. (here we go with the validation) I have had some very good looking girlfriends in the past, but also some average looking ones as well. Maybe the good looking chicks were just pure luck, I can’t tell at this point.

My situation is this: The desert is dry. I look around and I have no prospects in the pipe line, no action on the table, and no game what-so-ever on the weekends. I am freaking out. It hasn’t been this dry in years.

When I lived in DC it’s not like I was some stud, but at least there was some hope. I got laid on a semi-regular basis. In this new town, it seems like I work monday-friday and head to some loud club one day over the weekend to sit in the corner and stare at chicks..

My buddies get NO ass, so it’s not like I can cherry pick of them. Plus, there really isn’t any tail to speak of in our small social circle. Honestly, I am on my own and whats scared me most, is that my buddies don’t seem to mind that we don’t get any ass. In DC my frieds had chicks swinging from the rafters. Now, its like all my buddies head to the club, get drunk and gawk at the chicks from the bar. We litarlly roll 6 deep with dudes. I rarely did that in DC.

DCB, help me with my lack of game and action. In DC there was the after work happy hours and the weekend house parties to line it up. Down here there is nothing. I miss the happy hours and Cap Lounge. I never thought in my life that I would miss the Clarendon Ballroom. God, I long for the days. I am getting very depressed. I tried the internet dating thing and it made me even more bummed. Is my game so bad that I have turned to winking at someone? Maybe I am ugly and haven’t come to grips with it.. I don’t know.

I like to think I am a good looking guy, but the results over the last year beg to differ. Help me out bro. Where do I start. I am one of those guys who goes to the club and sits in the corner looking at girls. I was never like this in DC. HELP!!!! Give me a top to bottom plan on how to rescue my soul. Help me bulid the confidence back up. There are some many hot women down here I don’t talk to any of them.

My worst fear in life is settling for a women, because I don’t think I can do any better. DCB show me the way.. Please help me meet some hot chicks. I never thought I would be a guy who wanted companionship, but man I miss the sunday morning sex. My dating life is non-existent

I really need your help. I am currently talking to a 21 year old with braces that I meet on Match.com who isn’t even banging me.. Yes my dating life is that bad.

Help me DCB.

Kathryn says,

Since you are begging for help from my companion, I’ll keep this brief and let him help you out - I know he can.

My biggest tip: if you run with a pack of losers, girls you meet will lump you in with them, and write you off from the start. You have GOT to branch out when you’re looking for women. Hang out with the no-game guys to watch/talk sports and drink and play softball or whatever. Leave them at home when you want to meet girls. Once you’ve got the girl interested, if you later introduce her to your friends, she won’t think less of you for hanging with nerds. In fact, she’ll like you more because she’ll think you aren’t shallow and care about them as people.

DCB says,

First, calm the fuck down. I don’t care how long your slump is, but desperation is not a quality you want to put out right now.

What you have is a “system” problem, as opposed to an unlucky streak that you can explain through the normal variance of things.

1. You have a weak social circle. Rolling 6 deep in a club with guys who are bad with women?

2. You do not approach.

3. You do not have a regular spot that you feel comfortable in.

You have to solve each issue on its own. This will be slow and tedious, but there is no quick fix to your massive problem. First, ditch the guys who are not helping you get what you want. There is absolutely no reason to go to a club with guys who have no game. You need to find a guy who knows how to game and will motivate you to do the same. It’s not that easy to meet a new guy friend when you are older so I don’t have much more advice than to join a raquetball club or something, but I believe it is better to go into a bar solo than with losers.

Second, you need to get comfortable talking to girls. Start small by smiling at girls and saying hi. Go out to a mall and say hi to dozens of girls if you have to. Tell them you are shopping for your sister and need their opinion. Do anything to get some practice talking with women and don’t worry about “game” initially. You need to learn that it’s not as bad as you think.

Third, find a bar or club that you like, and start going there alone at least once a week. Have two drinks, chat with the bartender, and go home. You need a “home base,” a place you can go to when you have no options just to get out of the house. If you feel bored at the bar, bring a book, drawing pad, or laptop… I don’t care. If a woman sits next to you, say hi and have a normal conversation. You may want to go on weekdays where there will be less attitude.

I think if you take these steps, you will build up enough confidence to start gaming girls again. I predict it will take about 6 months. Looking on the bright side, you are at rock bottom so I don’t see things getting worse.

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