I am a girl that is known as a player. I don’t sleep around. I just don’t see the point in committing when I don’t like someone enough. And I do not see the harm in going out and having fun with people.
But despite my player rep, I starting dated this guy two years ago. He is known as being a bigger player than I. Mostly just because girls follow him around because he is a successful exec at this big company. (They do not have the brains to relate to him, but he is kind of insecure so he lets them follow him around because it makes him feel cool). Nerd syndrome. (Nerd in school becomes rich and famous, flips out, parties like nuts, lets bimbos follow him around. Then a few years later says, “shit! what am i doing!”)
So we were getting along really well, connecting on different levels (I have some of that nerd syndrome myself.. Don’t ask). But then due to a misunderstanding and prob my own weird insecurity about these hoes that hung around …I kicked his car and broke up with him because I saw this gutterslut getting into his car outside Modern in Georgetown.
Three months later I found out she begged him for a ride. He agreed to take her and two of her friends to her car. But this was one of the cheap whore biatches that was always trying to sit on his lap when I was out with him - — right in front of me.
OK. I was wrong.
In a rage, I then started dating this guy he did not like the following day. I dated that guy for a year before I kicked his car, too, because he was just plain stupid. Four months later …
Guy number one and I are talking again. But I am not sure I trust him, he is not sure he trusts me. We are both afraid of each others’ player reps.
SOoooo, we are making progress and then he goes out of town. Then this weekend I am at this big party that I needed a date for, so I took some random guy that looked the part and owned a tux. OK. Guess what? Guy number 1 was at that party too. So fuck. He sees me with this random guy.
We’ve not talked since.
I feel horrible. The random guy means nothing to me. We are just pals. How can a girl go to a function which requires a date with no date? :/
SOOoooo what to do? Just chill and hang back? Or try to talk to guy number one? Maybe I am not expressing this in this email, but guy number one is the only guy I have ever been in love with. So this really sucks. Anything I could do?
Thanks for listening.
Jane Doe
P.S. DCB: I have as much money as guy number one, so this is not a money issue. I know that is the first thing you will say. And, I pay when I go out on dates with people about 60-80% of the time. Just because I make more money.
Kathryn says,
Jane, Jane, Jane. Oh, Jane.
First, is “kicked his car” the new “kicked to the curb” or something?
Second, if he was supposed to be out of town, why was he at that event? And if you are really just friends with the person who escorted you to said event, why not just say so? Seems like, if you’re being honest, there is no problem.
That said, I think you and Guy 1 may just deserve each other. Sounds like you both lie, get yourselves in situations that people in committed relationships wouldn’t get themselves into (whether or not there’s actual cheating), and think pretty highly of yourselves. Hold on to him for dear life.
DCB says,
You are seriously retarded and not yet mature enough to have a relationship with a desirable man. Why would a good man want to get with a player such as yourself? What qualities do you bring to the table other than playing games and destroying property? Look, he doesn’t like you because he thinks you are better destined to cat ownership. Just move on and milk your looks with stupid men for the few remaining years you can pull it off.
Also: it takes you a year to realize a guy is stupid? Maybe your game is not as tight as you think.
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You’d think as someone with nerd syndrome you’d have learned to think a bit more sensibly. Instead you’re behaving like a reject from some WB teen drama.
If you haven’t talked since the party what makes you think he even noticed your “date”? He hasn’t called you, but you haven’t called him either.
Clearly you two will never be able to trust each other. Suppose you date, get married, have kids, twenty years later you’ll still wonder what he’s talking about with the lady next door or why he’s working late with the hot secretary. And he’ll probably wonder about you and the pool boy or your new intern or something.
At best you’ll learn to control your temper and make sure you have the facts and steel toed boots before kicking his car.
If you want to talk to him then talk to him. From what I’m hearing the two of you get along just fine as long as you’re not dating. So don’t date. Not until you’ve both grown up quite a bit.
you’re kicking multiple men’s cars and you expect any of them to embrace you? i bet you think the insurgency is in its last throes too. get a grip on yourself and your emotions, take some of that mountain of cash and find a good shrink. or better yet, buy yourself that pony you wanted so badly as a child but your parents probably couldn’t afford, that should solve some of your emotional issues.
Comment by ribald on 06/27/06.
This girl’s story is enough to make me never go to DC again. Kicked his car? Are you like 12 or something? You better have your fun and drama now because, as DCB said, no matter how much of a player you think you are presently it’s all going to come crashing down when those looks start to fade.
Comment by Pinky Hater on 06/27/06.
Your behaviour is very immature and reckless. Some people would call you a psycho bitch because of your crazy ass “kicking the car” pattern when you don’t get your way. Maybe guy number one has finally wisened up and sees beyond “your good looks” and the show you exhibit when you are in a “good” mood. It is possible that he has decided to “move on” without you. Afterall he does have other options.. you should consider moving on too.
Consider spending some time in an empty room with nothing but a chair and a mirror. Some self reflection would probably do you some good.
Comment by Jada on 06/27/06.
is this stuff for real? or are you two (DCB and Kathryn) getting bored and making shit up? where do these people come from?
JANE… YOU IGNORANT SLUT! First, stop reading this site and call your shrink immediately to double your prescription for Thorazine. Second, you won’t have problems kicking guys’ cars if you only date guys with out cars. Third, from now on, only wear flip flops, so the next time you lose control of your emotions and temper, and kick a car, you’ll break your toes and feet, end up in a wheel chair, thereby insuring that I won’t make the mistake of hitting on you in bar. By the way, as crazy as you are, I hope you are at least great in bed. Last but not least, you sound like one of my “ex’s”… your name isn’t Heather, Nikki, or Sara by any chance? If so, I’m sorry but I threw out your hair tie and bracelet.
Comment by Roy G. Biv on 06/27/06.
Ibid - Paris Hilton has a GED. She is quite missing the college part.
Look, if you’re rich and good looking, don’t worry about developing yourself or any of that crap. That’s only what ugly poor people like myself have to do. You don’t have to be a decent person. You have the genetics and the bank account to get whatever you want in life, as long as you set your sights shallow. Why bother yourself with trying to build a relationship? Just get some easily manipulated arm candy if you need that for social situations and enjoy your life!
Comment by Guitar Wolf on 06/27/06.
Okay, instead of calling you names, I am going to try and give you advice. If you did these stupid things while intoxicated, some men may understand that it’s the alcohol, and not you if you were normal and level headed when sober. So if you were drinking heavily and then kicked cars well you might have a shot. I would call him up and say hello and then ask him out to dinner or coffee or lunch. Don’t talk about the relationship at all, drama, or sluts etc. jsut hang out with him on a friends level and see where it goes.
Molly
Comment by Molly on 06/27/06.
Do you ever actually think about things at all? When was the last time you read a book, other than the DaVinci code? Do you always come off like this much of a braindead asshole?
You sound like a person who is basically worthless and insane. Just FYI, success means more than just making a lot of money. I know that last sentence sounds like something a poor person would say, but trust me, I make a lot of money too. Seriously, spend some time developing a personality that WOULDN’T make the average person want to throw you out of a window.
Go live on a mountain for six months or something. Grow some humility.
Comment by Howie Do on 06/27/06.
There isn’t much to add here…I’ll just say if you want to see if there is a chance of having a relationship with him again, swallow your pride and call him. Tell him you are sorry for the drama, that you care about him, and would like to get together to talk things over.
Thr real problem here isn’t that you have a player rep, taking you at your word that you don’t sleep around. Guys don’t fault girls for sleeping with men they have not committed to (as long as its not a new guy every week). The problem is that you are a drama queen. Kicking cars? Dating men you don’t like because you are in a rage? Then kicking their cars a year later? Men don’t usually envision the future mother of their children acting this way. I suspect you are smarter than the other commenters are giving your credit for, but think about the need for some emotional intelligence.
Comment by Chaco on 06/27/06.
I think if you just read the advice, you’ll see the problem as the best thing you’ve gotten is from Molly who said: “So if you were drinking heavily and then kicked cars well you might have a shot.”
Let’s put the coke away, find some friends who will tell you you’re being a total hag bitch and evaluate why it is that the only person you have ever loved is the male clone of yourself.
A) girl kicks his car and screws everything up with her player-ish habits
B) guy lies about going out of town and bumps into her at the same party
It’s over.
Comment by nabeel on 06/27/06.
After reading all the comments, I almost feel bad for the OP. At least her writing wasn’t that bad?
Comment by DCB on 06/27/06.
How about some therapy for that anger and horrible behavior? That kind of behavior is inexcusable. Also, the mention of $$$ makes my stomach turn..how about some common decency here? Get some help before you either (1) end up in jail (destruction of property is a misdemeanor) or (2) marry the he-hore. Divorce ain’t cheap and it seems that would be the path your marriage would take.
