First Date DC

Today Mister Jinxy serves up a little advice, with a nice side order of old and crotchety.

ETV writes,

Ok FDDC, I went out on a first date with this girl I met online. I had a great time, I find her extremely attractive and I would really like to see her again and possibly explore something romantic with her. In other words, I’m trying to avoid the LJBF conversation. Not that that’s been a big problem for me, I’ve always done well with the ladies. But I sense something special about this girl, something I haven’t felt in a long time. After our date, I received the following email from her a day later (in it’s entirey, minus names):

“You rock– I really had such a blast last night! I haven’t danced in ages–guys NEVER want to, I have a newfound obsession with [name of venue removed]..or maybe its just the DJ. Anywho–thanks so much–hope to hang out again! Poor ZaZa left in disgrace today. There were lines at the WHole foods bcs every single Italian in Glover Park was out buying Proscuitto, was very bizarre….”

It’s clearly very upbeat and positive. What I’m trying to discern is whether or not there’s any indication of physical or romantic interest on her part (does she find me attractive or not?). Any insight you can offer is greatly appreciated as well as any advice on how to avoid the LJBF conversation and escalate the relationship romantically.

Thanks!
ETV
p.s. please don’t publish my email address.

Jinxy says,

Dating advice? Why on Earth would anyone ask me about that? I haven’t been on a date with anyone other than Mrs. Jinxy since 1955. That was back when kids had standards and morals. Shoot. We’d never even heard of what a “playa” was. We were too busy practicing duck &
cover drills in the parking lot of Al’s Diner and trying to get to second base under Mary Jo Karaznick’s Sears & Roebuck panty-girdle.

But since you asked, young feller, I’ll try to oblige you. Here’s my read on the e-mail:

Your key concern is how you can avoid the LJBF with this girl, but I’m afraid it’s probably already too late. Based solely on what you’ve told us about how you met her and from reading between the lines of her e-mail, it appears to me that this girl does not consider you to be a possible breeding partner for her. To her you’re just one of a long list of “fun guys” she has lined up whom she can hang out with until a more attractive candidate comes along. She begins her e-mail by stroking your ego a bit and giving you what on its face seems like a fairly innocuous compliment. But what is she really saying by telling you that you “rock”? Is she saying you’re the kind of guy who knows how to do The Funky Chicken and The Robot really well, or that you’re the kind of guy she wants to rip her clothes off and stick his Ding-A-Ling in her Holiest Of Holies?

From what I can see, you don’t need a weatherman to know which way the wind blows in this nascent relationship. Then, in a six sentence e-mail, she’s already talking about other men, including making a reference to her obsession with some Eurotrash hipster record spinner. Finally, and most tellingly, she brings the hammer down and crushes your nuts by telling you that she hopes to “hang out” with you again. Despite the false exclamation point tacked on to the end of her sentence like a hangman’s scaffold, a girl wishing to pursue something romantic with you would certainly not have thrown such an amorphous and tepid declaration of intentions. A more promising statement would have been something along the lines of, “I really had a great time and would like to see you again.” Or better yet, “Could you stop by the 7-11 and pick up a twelve pack of extra-strength Magnum condoms on your way over here tonight”. Yeah, I think that last one would have put some pep in my step and given me cause for hope. But “hope to hang out again”? Nope, sorry. She just wants to be friends.

Anyway, I feel bad about the bleak assessment and wish I had better news to offer. But then again, you probably shouldn’t listen to me. I’m just some old emasculated and clueless crank toiling away my days in suburbia. You should probably get a second opinion from someone who knows what the Hell they’re talking about. Or ask a tarot card reader.

Jinxy

Kathryn says,

Although I may not know what the Hell I’m talking about, I do have a second, different opinion.

I think she is interested. She took the initiative to email you the very next day, which included both praise of the night you spent together and a request to see you again. Her terminology was unsophisticated, but I get the impression she’s young and not the brightest star in the sky. But you liked that, so no worries.

One concern: did you treat her and all her friends to a night out? You paying covers, buying drinks, driving them around, and getting no ass while they shook theirs on the dance floor? If so, of course she wants to hang out again, but expect more of the same.

Either way, she wants to be in your presence again. Work it.

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