First Date DC

Cobra Kai writes,

In a similar vein to the office mate post, I have a small crush on my Sensai at jiu-jitsu class. He is my age, cute, smart, confident and a great instructor. I want him to throw me on my back on the mat. I am not sure but I think there is a vibe between us- it’s the way he looks at me, talks to me, etc. I only started class 3 weeks ago, though, so I am not certain. Also, I am not sure if he would even date a student- he takes the whole martial arts thing pretty seriously.

I should also mention that I don’t know much about his personality. While he is a good teacher, he could be boring or a douche. This is why I define my crush as “small”- I don’t know him well enough to see if we would click.

Needless to say, I am interested in finding out. How do I get him to ask me out without being too forward?

Home Improvement Ninja says,

Okay, well first you need to understand the concept of “field position”. I’ll tell you the story of how I first became aware of this concept. My friend Crowballs (yes, that’s his real nickmane), had a brother who was not tall, good looking, muscular, or rich. He also had the personality of soup. We’ll call him CB, even though his name is Mike. Anyway, the only way it would be possible for to CB date more attractive girls in his college years than he did would be if he worked his way through school making porn. So what was his secret? Field position! You see, CB went to FIT (Fashion Institute of Technology) a two year school for people who want to work in fashion. He got laid so much, that he stretched it out to four years. This is how CB explained his concept of field position to me:

CB: You know how during a football game when the wide receiver is way open and there is no one near him, and he’s right by the endzone and you KNOW the guy is gonna’ score unless he’s a total retard? Well I’m THAT guy, man.

Ninja: You’re the retard?

CB: No…the wide receiver with the awesome field position. I go to FIT, which is 90% women and 9% gay men. Every class I go to there’s 40 women, a few gays, a fat guy who sweats a lot—and ME. So if these women want to get laid, they either have to date me, the fat guy or go buy a vibrator.

Coincidentally, vibrator manufacturers reported record-breaking sales during the 4 years that CB attended FIT.

You are now THAT guy. You’re probably one of the only girls in that class full of men and you’re worrying about getting noticed? You have a uterus–all you have to do to get noticed in a karate class is to show up. Your odds of getting a date in a karate class are better than Jake Gyllenhaal’s odds of getting gang raped in a Turkish prison.

Why don’t you wear a tank top under your karate uniform instead of a t-shirt so you accentuate your breasticles. Then show up early for class (or stay late) and just talk about regular stuff. I’m sure when he’s not doing jiu jitsu he’s a normal person. “Oh you like banal music? Me too…I’m going to see a[n overrated] band this weekend, you should come.” If you think he’s flirting with you, he probably is. Make your move, Tex!

As an aside, you mentioned your jiu jitsu teacher is attractive. I find this hard to believe since it’s common knowledge the best looking (and smartest) martial artists practice Northern Eagle Claw Kung Fu. Jus’ sayin.

Kathryn says,

I’m sure it’s thrilling to be in close physical contact with a strong, powerful man in a position of authority. Plenty of women develop crushes on their teachers and instructors. And it’s perfectly normal to try and see if any interest exists on the other side.

However. You do need to consider whether or not you want to continue taking classes with this particular sensai, and whether or not you could do so if you were dating, or hooking up, or had a bad date, or one drunk make-out, or if you asked him out and he said no, etc. If the classes are more important to you than any potential action from the sensai, well, keep things as a small crush. At a minimum, you’ll stay motivated to keep up with your jiu jitsu, right?

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