Comments on: I drank while writing this http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this "but seriously, when should i call?" Fri, 30 Jul 2010 14:53:41 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.1.3 By: Ibid http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4266 Ibid Tue, 01 Aug 2006 14:11:26 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4266 That she was dealing with a breakup of her own was important information. Think back about a year to your own breakup. It left you pretty messed up for awhile there. Thoughts of you kept haunting you even though you knew that you broke up for damn good reasons. This other girl is going through something similar. She probably shouldn't have been dating so soon after her breakup. Maybe she was into you, maybe she defines herself by who she's dating, maybe she needed to date someone to override the feeling of worthlessness she got when her last relationship didn't work out, aaaaand maybe she's just bat shit crazy. The break is recent enough that he's still on her mind and she hasn't gotten over her feelings for him. She knows it's over, but her head isn't doing the thinking. Part of you is going to tell you to be patient, support her, give her time to recover and de-crazy a bit, and then you'll not only be there for her when she recovers but you'll be the guy who was there for her and recipient of her eternal gratitude. When this happens I'll let you ride off to your honeymoon on the pigs flying out of my ass. What the ladies is saying is probably the way to go. If you're like 95% (an arbitrary high number) of people then you'll find someone else with chemistry and have a go. Me? If I find someone with whom I have chemistry and they don't violate any of my dealbreakers then I'm gonna stick with them long past when common sense says let go. I mean you'll have to burn the words "GIVE UP" on a clue-by-4, beat me with it, and probably break both legs just for good measure. But if you're better looking than I, taller, and better with the ladies then pawn this one off on a friend and find someone else. That she was dealing with a breakup of her own was important information. Think back about a year to your own breakup. It left you pretty messed up for awhile there. Thoughts of you kept haunting you even though you knew that you broke up for damn good reasons. This other girl is going through something similar. She probably shouldn’t have been dating so soon after her breakup. Maybe she was into you, maybe she defines herself by who she’s dating, maybe she needed to date someone to override the feeling of worthlessness she got when her last relationship didn’t work out, aaaaand maybe she’s just bat shit crazy. The break is recent enough that he’s still on her mind and she hasn’t gotten over her feelings for him. She knows it’s over, but her head isn’t doing the thinking.

Part of you is going to tell you to be patient, support her, give her time to recover and de-crazy a bit, and then you’ll not only be there for her when she recovers but you’ll be the guy who was there for her and recipient of her eternal gratitude. When this happens I’ll let you ride off to your honeymoon on the pigs flying out of my ass.

What the ladies is saying is probably the way to go. If you’re like 95% (an arbitrary high number) of people then you’ll find someone else with chemistry and have a go.
Me? If I find someone with whom I have chemistry and they don’t violate any of my dealbreakers then I’m gonna stick with them long past when common sense says let go. I mean you’ll have to burn the words “GIVE UP” on a clue-by-4, beat me with it, and probably break both legs just for good measure.

But if you’re better looking than I, taller, and better with the ladies then pawn this one off on a friend and find someone else.

]]> By: Ibid http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4268 Ibid Tue, 01 Aug 2006 14:19:07 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4268 Er... "thoughts of you kept haunting you" should be "thoughts of her kept haunting you". I didn't know you could get drunk off of one beer. I wonder which one it was. Er… “thoughts of you kept haunting you” should be “thoughts of her kept haunting you”.

I didn’t know you could get drunk off of one beer. I wonder which one it was.

]]> By: F http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4269 F Tue, 01 Aug 2006 14:25:22 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4269 Hmmm . . . I don't have the whole context, but maybe she wanted to have sex with you (or continue having sex with you) without the emotional attachments of a relationship and was too confused/embarrassed to try to communicate that straight out. She was saying she didn't have feelings for you, while kissing you - no-strings sex seems to be how that adds up to me. She could just be looney, but I remember breaking up with someone when I was younger, because I wanted a lover and he wanted a girlfriend and I was too embarrassed and inexperienced to be upfront about it. So, I know it happens. Hmmm . . . I don’t have the whole context, but maybe she wanted to have sex with you (or continue having sex with you) without the emotional attachments of a relationship and was too confused/embarrassed to try to communicate that straight out. She was saying she didn’t have feelings for you, while kissing you - no-strings sex seems to be how that adds up to me. She could just be looney, but I remember breaking up with someone when I was younger, because I wanted a lover and he wanted a girlfriend and I was too embarrassed and inexperienced to be upfront about it. So, I know it happens.

]]> By: Angst http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4270 Angst Tue, 01 Aug 2006 14:40:01 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4270 Was she 22? It sounds like it... Rule number 4... don't date them if they were born after 1982. I know this is a big generalization (that often is proved wrong), but 24 should be when they are a couple years removed from college and should be a wee bit more mature at a minimum. I went out with several girls 20-22 in the past few years and decided no more. On the other hand, if she is, say... 27, then run. Run like the Georgia peach breeze, and don't look back. Was she 22? It sounds like it…

Rule number 4… don’t date them if they were born after 1982.

I know this is a big generalization (that often is proved wrong), but 24 should be when they are a couple years removed from college and should be a wee bit more mature at a minimum.

I went out with several girls 20-22 in the past few years and decided no more.

On the other hand, if she is, say… 27, then run. Run like the Georgia peach breeze, and don’t look back.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4271 Anonymous Tue, 01 Aug 2006 15:07:33 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4271 Sally says it all, and Kathryn's #3 sums it up nicely. Sally says it all, and Kathryn’s #3 sums it up nicely.

]]> By: Jada http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4275 Jada Tue, 01 Aug 2006 16:07:35 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4275 She's immature, confused and behaving like a flake. Move on, don't initiate any contact and certainly don't respond to her attempts to contact you. She’s immature, confused and behaving like a flake. Move on, don’t initiate any contact and certainly don’t respond to her attempts to contact you.

]]> By: jenny http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4278 jenny Tue, 01 Aug 2006 17:31:04 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4278 okay this girl does not know what she wants and that's the bottom line. i think you haven't gotten her yet, she's not hooked on you, she's still unsure, and things were moving too fast. she then chose to run away and when alcohol was involved she became more touchy b/c she was having fun and does like you. she is NOT CRAZY...and neither are you. if you want to talk to her again, give her space, call in a month and suggest getting coffee or drinks. see where she is at then. don't email or text, CALL. okay this girl does not know what she wants and that’s the bottom line. i think you haven’t gotten her yet, she’s not hooked on you, she’s still unsure, and things were moving too fast. she then chose to run away and when alcohol was involved she became more touchy b/c she was having fun and does like you. she is NOT CRAZY…and neither are you. if you want to talk to her again, give her space, call in a month and suggest getting coffee or drinks. see where she is at then. don’t email or text, CALL.

]]> By: rock creek rambler http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4280 rock creek rambler Tue, 01 Aug 2006 17:54:42 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4280 Dignity dictates that you can't attempt to contact her again. Move on. As for your chemistry, after 10 years with the same girl you probably would have felt the same chemistry with a goat. Dignity dictates that you can’t attempt to contact her again. Move on. As for your chemistry, after 10 years with the same girl you probably would have felt the same chemistry with a goat.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4286 Anonymous Tue, 01 Aug 2006 20:18:25 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4286 forget her. never talk to her again. she is crazy. if she went crazy over something as small as an ex boyfriend, then u know she isn't worth it. imagine what she would do if something that was actually a big deal (death in the family, loss of job, etc.) happened. consider yourself lucky that she showed you how crazy she was earlier rather than a year from now. forget her. never talk to her again. she is crazy. if she went crazy over something as small as an ex boyfriend, then u know she isn’t worth it. imagine what she would do if something that was actually a big deal (death in the family, loss of job, etc.) happened. consider yourself lucky that she showed you how crazy she was earlier rather than a year from now.

]]> By: Dancing Diva http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4288 Dancing Diva Tue, 01 Aug 2006 20:39:23 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/08/i-drank-while-writing-this#comment-4288 kathryn is so right, don't text when you can call, esp if it's about calling! ya and move on...you already spent 10 years in one that didn't work why do the drama for even a month. it shouldn't - and isn't that hard when it's right. i just got outta a 6 year myself. you may have been out of the scene for a while, but nothing has really changed, keep your cool and know that you deserve a normal partner AND hot sex! kathryn is so right, don’t text when you can call, esp if it’s about calling! ya and move on…you already spent 10 years in one that didn’t work why do the drama for even a month. it shouldn’t - and isn’t that hard when it’s right. i just got outta a 6 year myself. you may have been out of the scene for a while, but nothing has really changed, keep your cool and know that you deserve a normal partner AND hot sex!

]]>