Wax off
Alternate title: Pubes Roundtable
regular girl writes,
i’m a regular mid-twenties dating girl (but no girly-girl to be sure). my question: what is the deal with waxing? recently i’ve been getting the impression from girlfriends that it is expected nowadays. have never gotten any complaints from boys. i tend to go au natural.. do guys really expect a good bikini wax (and do girls really willingly shell out the cash and pain that goes along with it), is a shave ok (possibly prickly from time to time), or does anyone really mind if you do only a trim every once in a while? this is so embarrassing to write — but its better than bringing it up in person. i know things are relative but i’m just looking for the norm i suppose…
thanks!
Kathryn says,
When I received this question, I knew I was woefully ill-equipped to respond. So I tapped the DC Male Bloggers’ Network, and received an overwhelming response. Apparently, a lot of men are more passionate about this than I would have thought. So, Regular Girl, you hit the advice jackpot. Enjoy.
Then, girl to girl, I just want to say that waxing hurts like hell, but gets easier every time. Don’t be afraid to go. My waxer told me there are plenty of women whose “bikini wax” is more like a “half leg wax.” So guaranteed they’ve seen worse than what you have. I’d recommend waxing for the bikini line, shaving for the, ah, “inner” or “more sensitive” areas on days you expect some action, and keeping what’s left nice and trim. Up to you which of those options you choose, of course. But do know that bluemercury has excellent waxers, and Tend Skin is the bikini line’s post-shave best friend.
Rock Creek Rambler says,
I don’t expect waxing, but I do expect some kind of trimming. Full bush is totally a turn off. Sides and lower regions should be shaved, and any remaining hair should be short. I usually can’t tell the difference between a girl who waxes and a girl who shaves.
Home Improvement Ninja says,
Women should ALWAYS “take care of their shit” (as we say in NYC). It is NEVER okay to go au naturel. EVER. No one has said anything before because they were so eager to get laid that they didn’t want to upset you. But I have seen some va-jay-jays that were au naturael and it wasn’t a pretty site. One time, this chick I was dating, who was “crunchy” and didn’t believe in non-natural products took off her underbloomers and BAM!!! I saw a forest down there that gave me Vietnam flashbacks (and I wasn’t even born ‘till after the war). I think there may have been a platoon of Viet Cong down there who didn’t even know the war was over. Jus’ sayin’.
Now if I was a freakishly hairy guy, which I’m not, I would at least do some “manscaping” so the girl I’m dating doesn’t end up with a pube sandwich ever time she “feels the wrath of the ninja twixt her nethers.” (That’s a euphemism for S-E-X, by the way.)
You can’t let a lawn grow without moving it. Trimming the hedges (i.e. mowing the grass that gets too long and shaving the parts that extend past the bikini line) is the least you could do. It’s common courtesy. So if I was grading this, this would be “C” on your report card.
Now if you want to get a “B” on your report card, then shave/wax outside the bikini line, trim everything above the little man in a canoe REALLY SHORT, and shave/wax every thing below it. It makes it easier to see “the feast of no calories.”
If you want an “A” , then shave/wax everything off—like a stripper or a porn star. Hey, is it getting’ hot in here?
As for shaving vs waxing. Waxing is definitely preferable. If you shave, it will itch when it starts to grow back and people will look at you funny on the metro when you are scratching your hoo-ha-dilly. BUT, sometimes between waxing, you gotta shave for touchups. The only thing you gotta watch out when shaving your Hoo Ha is the razor bumps. A stripper I knew (in the biblical sense) told me that as part of their Hoo Ha beautification regimen, they use some Visine on a q-tip to eliminate razor bumps. Their’s also some lotion that all those pole dancers use on their hoo has to keep it smooth and prevent bumps. I don’t know the name and can only identify it by smell. But you can probably find it in CVS. Ask for “Hoo Ha Lotion”.
Big Willie B. says,
Whatever. I don’t care. I’ve been camping in the woods with a girl for three or four days, and she hasn’t showered, much less shaved, and I still have sex with her and get in there. Whatever. As long as it’s not a forest down there, I’m fine.
El Guapo says,
Prickly? No, no, no, no, no, no, no. A cactus is prickly. Nothing about a woman should ever be prickly. I just wanted to get that out of the way first.
This is a touchy subject. Different men have different preferences. You can have a lot, have some, and have none. The most important thing for me is that you commit to one. You MUST commit. If you decide to have a lightning bolt down there, fine, just don’t let the prickly rain appear around it. If you’re going to be artistic, I shouldn’t have to guess what is going on down there. This area of your body is no place to show that you’re a fan of abstract art.
The “au naturel” is something that scares me a little bit. I once saw a woman who had this style. It looked as if spiders were trying to escape through her underwear. I don’t wish to discuss this any further. The memories are too much.
Remember, when a man sees your “place” they should hear:
Hello
How are you?
It’s ok. Don’t be scared. Hang out for a bit. Come closer.
Let’s get to know one another. See? Nice, isn’t it?We tend to get disoriented if “too much” is going on down there.
Now, you didn’t mention this in your letter, but I’ll bring it up anyway. The Brazilians are geniuses. Remember that when you ask yourself the question of whether you should have hair in the back or not. There should never be anything back there. This, I promise you, is universal. Even if you don’t plan on doing anything back there it should still be bare. It’s like the guest soap in your home. You never use it, but you want it to look nice.
Mike says,
I believe most guys think about pubes the same way they think about boobs. There are three types. 1) very small, 2) very big, 3) something in the middle. Boobs too small aren’t a big deal as it usually comes with a good body. A huge rack is a novelty and can sometimes be quite fun. Everything in between won’t become a conversation when guys sit down for sandwiches on the weekend. The question every guy asks when faced with one of these 3 is, “are these the boobs i want to date?” Usually (but not always), if you’re #2, the answer is no, and if you’re #1 - maybe, and #3 - yes.
The hair issue is the the same - 1) bald, 2) a forest, 3) everything in between. Bald is fine but comes with it some concerns: too much like a little girl; is this woman a total slut? A forest is exactly like big boobs: can be fun and usually makes for a good story, but at the end of the day they’re a hassle and look bad more often than they look good. Stick with #3. Oh, and most men don’t care at all between waxing and shaving.
Bottom line: Better the men focus on you and not the pubes.
WiBber says,
At the risk of a somewhat unfortunate pun, it’s a matter of taste (I know, I know, and I’m sorry, but how else would you put it?). To a large extent, i think there is a broad enough range of opinion that the important thing is what you like. If you’re comfortable with a certain look, then that should really settle the matter. Comfortable girl = confident girl = sexy girl, and we likey the sexy girl.
To a large extent, I think there is a broad enough range of opinion that the important thing is what you like. As a guy (a non-player one, anyway), I can say that just getting into a situation that would require an opinion on the matter, as it were, probably means that whatever is there is going to be just fine. Barring any appearances of poor hygiene, of course.
A long time ago, in the early days of Comedy Central, I remember a comic who made a comment about not understanding men who complain about having to wear a condom during sex. He said, and I’m paraphrasing a little, “I don’t care if I have to wear scuba gear, clown shoes and a viking helmet, as long as I’m getting a piece.” I think it would largely apply here as well. You may
get a lot of strong feedback on this, but if forced to choose between something that looks a little different from what you see in magazines and having to stick to magazines instead, then I’d imagine tangible girls win in a landslide.So as Digital Underground is wont to suggest: Doowutchyalike. (And just grab him in the biscuits. Whatever that means.)
I-66 says,
I personally don’t have any expectations when it comes to that. Every girl has her own preferences and far be it from me to dictate what she should and should not do. That said, if I had my way I’d like to see at least a trimming if not a waxing (not necessarily a Brazilian, mind you) just because it will make me more likely to venture down in that direction. I know there are women out there who are particular about the state of their guy’s hair when it comes to oral and men can be the same. Nobody wants a mouthful of hair.
Really it’s up to you. I don’t think there are many (if any) guys who would stop whatever they were doing with a girl just because she hadn’t trimmed or waxed or anything. It’s about you feeling comfortable with whatever you choose to do, but if you ask me what I like, I’d say at least a trim to keep things neat.
And then, last but absolutely NOT least, The Playaz say,
Phil: I’m glad you sought our advice as we know much about the subject, and who better than the Playaz to chime in on this subject that seems to be on the forefront of Washington DC’s female population? What do you think guys?
Bon: As men of excess, I would say we like our bush the same way. Wild, untamed, and all enveloping.
The Guv’na: I think it goes without saying that The Guv’na likes it thick and coarse.
Phil: I tend to agree. We no doubt like an unkempt bush, as evidenced by our current lawsuit filed against us in the Isle of Palms for untamed shrubbery growth (real lawsuit).
Wayne: While I fully endorse the Playaz party line, individually, I prefer nice, neat growth, regularly maintained. The unkempt growth reminds me of that email with the middle eastern woman whose lower torso was covereved with hair. I do not wish to feel as if I’m making love to Kenny Rogers’ beard (not that that’s necessarily a bad thing). Plus, just as our untamed shrubbery blocks the access of ocean breezes to our neighbor, shouldn’t also a woman’s private area have the right to ‘breathe’ and enjoy the air?
Phil: Are you saying we’re in the wrong for having an unkempt bush?
Wayne: No. I’m only talking about from the perspective of pubic hair, not the shrubbery.
Phil: I see. Tac?
Tac: As long as it’s a woman, and she has a vagina I don’t care.
Phil: So, the answer here regular girl is “diff’rent strokes for diff’rent folks”. Some Playaz prefer a large mane of pubic hair, others like well groomed. Needless to say, I personally do not prefer the “completely barren” landscape. It’s a fad from the porn-world. And I prefer porn the natural, old-fashioned way, with Seka and Ginger Lynn and Veronica Hart. So what’s the norm? There probably is no norm. Just ask your guy. It sounds embarrassing, but trust me he will love you for it. He may even offer to help “groom” you.
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