Comments on: Back burner http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner "but seriously, when should i call?" Wed, 08 Sep 2010 16:18:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.1.3 By: Chaco http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8452 Chaco Tue, 19 Sep 2006 14:00:02 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8452 Yeah, this is pretty straightfoward. Just what El Guapo and Kathryn said. I actually had one girl do this with me, though not quite so crudely as to verbally "LJBF" me and then call for a date. But she was interested when things were rocky with her bf, flirted, went on two dates, but then pulled back and decided to work things out with him. Lo and behold, 5 months later she calls me out of nowhere and she slips in to the convo that she broke up with her boyfriend. I suppose I could have stood on principle and blown her off, but I was single and ass is ass, so I took the bait and we went on another date. Turns out I got no ass from that date either because it seems I was not the only guy she called when she became single! She had another date two nights before where "something happened" and I was back to being back-up boy again. And yes, she called again when things with that guy went sour, but I was happily dating my fiance so this time I got to LJBF her :-) Nice girl though, no hard feelings. Yeah, this is pretty straightfoward. Just what El Guapo and Kathryn said.

I actually had one girl do this with me, though not quite so crudely as to verbally “LJBF” me and then call for a date. But she was interested when things were rocky with her bf, flirted, went on two dates, but then pulled back and decided to work things out with him. Lo and behold, 5 months later she calls me out of nowhere and she slips in to the convo that she broke up with her boyfriend. I suppose I could have stood on principle and blown her off, but I was single and ass is ass, so I took the bait and we went on another date. Turns out I got no ass from that date either because it seems I was not the only guy she called when she became single! She had another date two nights before where “something happened” and I was back to being back-up boy again. And yes, she called again when things with that guy went sour, but I was happily dating my fiance so this time I got to LJBF her :-) Nice girl though, no hard feelings.

]]> By: Ibid http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8453 Ibid Tue, 19 Sep 2006 14:14:26 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8453 K and ElG are probably right. He had two women he wanted to try for, picked one, screwed that up, now he's trying the other. There's another possiblity, though. If he'd called you two weeks later I'd say he genuinely wanted to be friends. Those people exist. No, really, they do. Two months later tells me that he doesn't actually want to be friends but he doesn't want to seem like he was just feeding you a line. A third possibility is that he wanted to see if you were interested enough to chase him. Now he's realizing he screwed up and wants to weasel back into your life. I'd suggest that you ask him, but he's gonna just feed you a line. K and ElG are probably right. He had two women he wanted to try for, picked one, screwed that up, now he’s trying the other.

There’s another possiblity, though.
If he’d called you two weeks later I’d say he genuinely wanted to be friends. Those people exist. No, really, they do. Two months later tells me that he doesn’t actually want to be friends but he doesn’t want to seem like he was just feeding you a line.

A third possibility is that he wanted to see if you were interested enough to chase him. Now he’s realizing he screwed up and wants to weasel back into your life.

I’d suggest that you ask him, but he’s gonna just feed you a line.

]]> By: Sally http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8455 Sally Tue, 19 Sep 2006 14:27:28 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8455 Yes, this advice is 100% correct...speaking as a girl who has actually pulled this exact maneuver on a couple of guys. Dammit, I'm a terrible person. Yes, this advice is 100% correct…speaking as a girl who has actually pulled this exact maneuver on a couple of guys. Dammit, I’m a terrible person.

]]> By: Anonymous http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8459 Anonymous Tue, 19 Sep 2006 16:00:02 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8459 If he is interested in a friendship, it'll show. If he wants more, that will show too. I say, don't call him, let him call you until you feel like you're in a position where you are mutually interested in maintaining a friendship, or more. If he is interested in a friendship, it’ll show. If he wants more, that will show too. I say, don’t call him, let him call you until you feel like you’re in a position where you are mutually interested in maintaining a friendship, or more.

]]> By: Sandra Dee http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8461 Sandra Dee Tue, 19 Sep 2006 16:05:45 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8461 Ugh. Men! Ugh. Men!

]]> By: nabeel http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8470 nabeel Tue, 19 Sep 2006 17:30:51 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8470 "Ugh. Men!" ROFL!! Don't forget, sweetie, that women pull the same move just as much as men do, if not more. ;) “Ugh. Men!”

ROFL!! Don’t forget, sweetie, that women pull the same move just as much as men do, if not more. ;)

]]> By: Namaste http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8485 Namaste Tue, 19 Sep 2006 20:15:12 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8485 El Guapo gives great advice... El Guapo gives great advice…

]]> By: flippantangel http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8498 flippantangel Wed, 20 Sep 2006 01:09:29 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8498 Well, i can actually imagine a circumstance where someone would legitimately follow up with someone only two months later just wanting to be friends (and, I hate the word "just" here--in my experience friends are WAY harder to find than bedmates--kitchen floor/countermates, though, that's something rare, but I digress...) But, if you don't want to be friends with him, why the hell are you asking whether or not you should call back anyway? Well, i can actually imagine a circumstance where someone would legitimately follow up with someone only two months later just wanting to be friends (and, I hate the word “just” here–in my experience friends are WAY harder to find than bedmates–kitchen floor/countermates, though, that’s something rare, but I digress…)

But, if you don’t want to be friends with him, why the hell are you asking whether or not you should call back anyway?

]]> By: Madonna http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8534 Madonna Wed, 20 Sep 2006 15:51:00 +0000 http://www.firstdatedc.com/2006/09/backburner#comment-8534 No guy is going to call up a girl he dated in the past b/c he truly wants her as a "friend".. I agree with El Guapo. Don't respond- if he pushes *really* hard and shows that he really wants another crazk at yah' then he could genuinely want another chance at dating.. but I'd test himo nt hat first before playing the fool.. if it makes you feel any better I'm being put ont he back-burner right now (over these last few weeks) - I am identifying it and if he gets in touch with me I'm REALLY going to try not to respond... be strong sister!! No guy is going to call up a girl he dated in the past b/c he truly wants her as a “friend”.. I agree with El Guapo. Don’t respond- if he pushes *really* hard and shows that he really wants another crazk at yah’ then he could genuinely want another chance at dating.. but I’d test himo nt hat first before playing the fool.. if it makes you feel any better I’m being put ont he back-burner right now (over these last few weeks) - I am identifying it and if he gets in touch with me I’m REALLY going to try not to respond… be strong sister!!

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