One Night Stand Yard Sale
Hello and happy Labor Day! If you, like me, are taking advantage of this holiday to get your house in order, please allow me to recommend pulling a few items out of the trash pile and saving them for the One Night Stand Yard Sale.
Donate Your One-Night Stands’ Forgotten Jewelry and Clothes to Charity!
Got any lone earrings, panties or boxers from someone you slept with, but would never give your real phone number to?
Donate them to charity – anonymously!
We’ll be having a yard sale of all the left-behind umbrellas, jackets, jewelry, belts, etc. in Adams Morgan in September. Date and exact location to follow.
And buyers: come find real bargains. Remember the bracelet that you loved, but you would never go back to THAT house again to reclaim it? Come find it, and buy it back for just a dollar!
(You can get it free if you produce photographic evidence of previous ownership.)
This is only for one-night stand leave-behinds (not counting yourself). It is not an opportunity to get rid of all your ex-girlfriend’s crap from when she ditched your sorry ass to go to grad school or marry someone better-looking. Nobody wants your nasty old blender.
Email a detailed description of the one-night stand articles you wish to donate, along with the story behind each (if you can remember). No pictures - our email account has a 10 gig limit, and we anticipate a big response.
Your anonymity is protected – we don’t need your name, just your story, a detailed description of your goods, and a valid return email address you check regularly to get date and location details for the sale and for dropping off goods beforehand if you can’t make it to the sale or don’t want to be seen making a donation. (Set up a free email account with a fake name, if you want.)
Each purchaser gets the story behind the goods – but no names.
You’re on your honor to tell truthful stories. If you need to make up stories about this, you’re too pathetic to get laid and no one will believe you anyway. Send fake stories to Penthouse, not us.
Please contact us if you want to host the yard sale and live in Adams Morgan, Dupont Circle, U Street or Columbia Heights. We will organize the whole sale and dispose of the unsold merchandise.
Or send an email if you are looking to recover your favorite panties to get info on exact date, time and location of the sale.
It’s for charity!
Proceeds benefit the STD clinic at DC General Hospital in Southeast Washington.
I think if we all pitch in, this could really, REALLY work. Get to it, Sexually Active Washington!
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