Overanalysis paralysis
Underneath the Pines writes,
Hey Kathryn and DCB,
So here’s the deal. About a month and a half ago I met a guy online. For the month we were together, we really clicked and things were going well. No games, no drama. But, from the very beginning, he knew that I was going back to school for my senior year (which is in the Boston area). However, DC is my home, I visit home at least once a month for varying periods of time and my career plans are definitely bringing me back to the city upon graduation. We agreed that we would “take things a day at a time” while I was away. I told him that I would be busy at school, so a phone call once a week and/or a couple emails would be sufficient. We also talked of him coming up to Boston (he has family there anyway) as well as me popping down for weekends here and there.
I am having two problems, which are making me start to doubt his feelings. First, so far I’ve been the one initiating most of the contact (which granted, hasn’t been very much), whereas this wasn’t the case when I was in DC. The last time we talked on the phone though, he said I could call whenever I needed encouragement with school-related stress and that I could “mention that you are seeing me” when I asked him for advice on how I should deal with a legal situation I was briefly involved in this weekend. So on that front, I’m getting kinda mixed signals.
My second problem is related to his online profile. While I don’t get upset that it is still active (I check mine every so often too), I noticed that yesterday he added a picture. I don’t really know what to make of that.
Things were going so great with him, but I am feeling like maybe I should break it off, if only to save face. He said he would call me before this Thursday (when he leaves for a short trip), but I am wondering if he will.
I haven’t raised any of my concerns with him, for fear of sounding dramatic or angst-filled. So, besides talking with him, what are my options for sussing out whether I should say goodbye or not? Thanks guys!
DCB says,
It is pretty obvious he has already begun the search for a hotter, smarter, and more available girlfriend. Prepare to be dumped. The reason it is taking this long is because his game was rusty.
Kathryn says,
None of these things are really positive, I’m sorry to say. Adding a photo or logging in to his account (thereby keeping his profile active) isn’t a sure sign your guy is on the prowl, but when coupled with your complete lack of commitment and his minimal interest in contacting you… not good. Not good at all.
I know you like this guy, but you’re what, 20? 21? And you only went out for a month? And you’re long-distance? And you don’t really have any idea that you’d ever end up in the same city? I don’t see the appeal.
I have to ask one more question: why him?
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