I recently moved back to the DC/MD area, and have noticed an upsetting and amusing trend among DC’s prevelant “prepster doofus” male division. I call this trend “scenester diving”. It seems that a modern version of slumming for these middle-class white college graduates is to hit on the abundance of scenster/alternative/hipster women. Myself, fitting nicely into the dyed-black hair, black-rimmed glasses, punk rock-listening, androgynous, bisexual, heavily-tattooed niche of society, find myself in a new position than in years past. The jocks and prepsters who wouldn’t look my way in high school, suddenly find me fascinating. On most basic levels, we never get along (conservative vs. liberal, Christian vs. Agnostic, rockclimbing vs lacrosse, for example), and while I concede to the “opposites can attract” theories of dating, overall its just never a good match.
What is it that draws these men? Is it seeing someone with their own agenda? Is it a novelty of some sort? Do women do this as well? Is there a reverse phenomena, “prepster diving”? What are your thoughts on this?
–just another horrid emo girl
DCB says,
Only a girl would write in to complain about receiving attention. I don’t know if you are writing in because you really have a question or are just trying to show off lame terms you invented.
That said, I think emo girls are idiots. They try so hard to be different but they end up living a cookie-cutter model anyway. Yeah, I’ve never seen black hair, dark glasses, and punk stickers before. You’re such a rebel for rejecting society!!! You fit a formula as much as the preps do.
I’m guessing the thing that draws them into you is the fact that you have a vagina. I wouldn’t read into it.
Kathryn says,
I think they think you’re an easy lay, and a little bit more “dangerous” than what they’re used to. You obviously aren’t going to end up together long-term (at least not 99% of the time), so if anything happens, they assume it will be no-strings-attached. Plus, if you’re bi, maybe you’ll finally indulge their two girls at once fantasy.
Beyond that, sure, it could be boredom, and sure, it goes both ways.
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I don’t know if I would considered a preppy, but I am sure not emo, and I had a phase of liking chicks with funky colored short hair and tatoos. I can recall more than a few occasions of them catching me checking them out and looking back at me with expressions that said “who the fuck are you looking at, me??” DCB and Kathryn pretty much have it right. You girls look fun, interesting, and sexual. I never induldged the fantasy, so for all I know, you’re just as moody, shallow, and repressed as any other girl…
Comment by Chaco on 10/24/06.
What are they thinking?
1) Emo = Easy
2) That goth girl on TV was hot. Lets go get one.
3) I have a reputation to maintain so I’m gonna bang someone my friends will never meet.
They’re not looking for a relationship so you likes and dislikes don’t enter into it.
While I don’t think emo girls are idiots, I think you’re an idiot. I must concede that DCB’s response is right for once…no matter how much it pains me.
Come on guys that’s not nice. What’s this girls info? I’m just looking for someone I can cuddle up with and drink Pabst blue ribbon and listen to 8 seconds to Mars while rocking my fanny pack. What’s wrong with that. Is she a cutter, oh that’s soooo fucking hot. Seriously I want to get this girls info. Can I holla?
God, this paints a horrible picture of me. I wrote this question after just getting dumped by a “prepster doofus” and was wondering what the deal was with guys who are “I like you because you’re different, oh wait, you’re too different, good bye”. So yes, I was bitter. No, I didn’t go break my limewire-downloaded fall out boy cd and cut myself with it. So, yeah, I deserve to get blasted for my bitterness. Mea culpa. But, in my own defense, I am college educated (with a science degree), professionally employed (not by hot topic), and don’t live in my parents basement. Although after I read this, I wanted to slap myself, too.
Comment by The "Emo" Girl on 10/24/06.
aww why is everyone being so hard on the emo girl? I don’t think the question was stupid.
Comment by anon on 10/24/06.
Maybe its the way you, emo, pigeon-hole guys into categories like “prepster doofus” and “jocks”, etc… And the guys don’t like that about you. Or rather, they get the sense that you’re judging them superficially.
Does that sound right? If so, knock it off and open your mind, okay?
Comment by nabeel on 10/24/06.
one of my friends in college kept saying:
‘you nonconformists! you’re all alike!’ which keeps resonating with me.
I would really have to say novelty is the main thing at stake here… and yes, maybe a little ‘dangerous’. a lot of people will do a lot of really really selfish things for a PEA boost, especially if they already have an exit plan or don’t care about how the other person feels. and especially if they are confident that they have the upper hand. the problem is that, yes, there *are* some people out there that will screw with other people’s minds *just* for the ego boost.
people are hard on people in here because getting an outside opinion and using the benefit of other people’s experiences apparently makes you the lowest of the low.
Comment by aw on 10/24/06.
…and it’s easier to be nasty when we have a keyboard to hide behind.
