Mohammed v. Mountain
Girl Friday writes,
Three years ago found out my husband was cheating. In the early stages of the divorce I met this guy CD. He was a long time participant in a social circle that I was fairly new to. We hit it off, he was sweet, kind, cute, and even said he wanted to be the man that helped me trust again. I was thrilled and we dated for about seven months. Did I mention I was slightly crazed and going through a divorce at the time? Things were going good and we were getting close; that was when I dropped the bomb that I was moving out of state. I believed it was best not to stay in the same small town with my ex. It was a blow to him and he retaliated by being rude, ignoring me and I returned the favor and promptly moved.
Two year later CD calls, we both apologized for the way we acted. He says he understands why I had to leave. Then he starts saying things like ‘we’ all miss you back here, a lot of ‘people’ care about you back here. Of course by then I was in a relationship with someone else (but it was not going well), so all this really made me want to move back.
Of course when I went back for an event I spend one great night with CD. I told him that I had plans to move back, but it would be a year because of my job. Now would be a good time for him to say great, but instead he starts talking in innuendos. I played along only hinting at things myself. Neither one of us wanting to let down our guards I guess. I go back a lot more now for parties, football; I never go just to see him. We always see each other, but never make plans. It’s great while I am there, then I leave and he never even calls, unless I call him first.
I’m moving back regardless, he’s not the only reason, I miss my friends. So now I’m wondering if I should just stop these games. I did hurt him first so now maybe I should drop my guard, take the risk, and tell him I’m really interested? I’d just like to know if this is going anywhere, if he is actually interested in dating when I return. The flirting and innuendos have been fun, but isn’t it time to put the cards on the table?
So should I call him and put myself out there or let it be until I move back?
DCB says,
Too late! You blew it and it sounds like he doesn’t take you seriously anymore. He’s enjoying the sex without having to actually be in a relationship with you. What reason should he put up with more of your bullshit when he’s getting what he wants?
It’s funny how the power just kinda shifts, isn’t it?
Kathryn says,
While DCB is right in that the power has shifted, it shifted because you hurt him, you left, and you would breeze in and out of town with promises of returning in a year.
The romantic in me wants me to tell you to go for it, lay it all on the line, and ask if he’d like to give it another shot. Be absolutely sure he’s not dating anyone else if you go that route, of course.
But the pragmatist in me thinks that, if you did ask him to take you back, you’d spend quite a while convincing him you were serious about him and there to stay. And that’s assuming he agrees to try again. If he says no, then you are going to be stuck in the same small town with this guy and with your ex-husband. You may need to think about preserving your sanity a little bit.
Good luck, and please do let us know what happens.
If you liked this post then I think you will like my Roosh's Game Tips Email Newsletter For Guys. It's completely free and your first newsletter will be about how to meet girls in coffee shops. Following that will be newsletters on getting phone numbers, dealing with flakes, teasing girls the right way, handling cockblockers, meeting girls in foreign countries, and a whole lot more. Your email address will always remain private and you can unsubscribe at any time. To sign up put your first name and email address below and click the button.
